~*because i got high....

~*it feckin pours....

2009-07-15T16:27:00.003+08:00

Yeap... when it's rains, it does effin pours. And whose fault is it? Who the eff knows anymore. Does it effin matters? Not in my effin book it doesn't. Eff you and you and you! Not the you and you and you reading this ok... only the you and you and you I am effin about. Eff.

~*ways to terminate oneself....??

2009-07-14T12:00:00.005+08:00

... and that was the conversation on a Tuesday morning, not even half way through the week. Apparently I am quite an expert on the subject matter and roomie was quite impressed, but said if one day the method was used, I shouldn't feel guilty about it. :p Dunno if many people talks about such topics as lightly but when you're depressed... you're depressed.

Yea, I know, we're always depressed. When things comes crashing in waves... you will get beaten down, but good thing is, after a rant, maybe a couple of drinks afterwards or whatever, it numbs the crash... somewhat. Doesn't make it go away totally, but numbs... lessen... distracts.

How cool will it be to be able to be in the shoes of those people wandering the corners of our earth without a care in the world, except for where to go and what to eat next. Yes we call that vacation, but some people call that life. Or to be in the shoes of those who actually love their jobs, can't wait to be at work, and derives such satisfaction/fulfillment from there. How much better life would be if we can have simpler minds and just able to accept that this is it to life - work in a job you don't have the motivation to wake up to, or can't wait to get home from - like clockwork zombie, plan some trips away some time, and repeat that for the rest of your life. How nice... but, don't think can bring myself to wish for that. So suffer I shall... and whine I will... I guess.

Totally unrelated - you know how people always say if men of a certain age, say 40s, who are single are bound to come with some defects? I think I might want to agree to that, especially men of certain age, who's single and never been married. If you look real close, you might see "issues with commitment" flashing on their forehead... if you can take away the altered lenses you're wearing when in love, long enough to see that. Sigh.

~*hope your friday is better than mine...

2009-06-26T09:21:00.003+08:00

In between dealing with bloody users and work... pray god today end soon... like now.

~*transform hers...

2009-06-25T21:59:00.002+08:00

When I walked past this poster at the movies the other day... and eventhough the the people inside are tiny, my eyes immediately went to Megan Fox's extra protruding chest! Push ups or plastics... well done girl...!

~*on the path to recovery...

2009-06-25T21:15:00.003+08:00

physically that is. I am feeling much better compared to the last couple of days in bed with the big bad bug. But mentally...ekh, same old same old and until I get what I want... nay, deserve! (thank you Barney Stinson, I love you so!) Oh yea, until I get what I deserve in life, the good things only, tqvm, I think my mental state will pretty much be bouncing back and forth between whiny and depressive... ok, to be fair, the occasional 'happy days' too.

Sigh. Maybe I need to open my eyes to see the good things and be more appreciative... maybe someone need to open them for me. That is actually a scary thought literally. Maybe I should just be more thankful(?)... or maybe I should just eff it. I think effing it sounds more appealing right now.

On a more positive note, apparently this ol diary of mine just made... wait for it... RM... wait for it... 0.25! Haha... and I only need another RM 49.75 before i get paid. Hahaha... nice.

~*trapped in this so called life...

2009-06-24T08:05:00.004+08:00

For good things to come to you, no. 1, you have to ask for it, no.2, you have to be really positive and believe it in. I am incapable of being positive all the time. It feels force(read: fake) when I really "think positive".

Don't know about anyone else, but I am always depressed when I am sick and even when I am starting to get better. Been in bed since Monday night, the big bad fever flu and throat infection (but thank god not THE FLU), and I think I am getting better today, but hell... am I feeling depressed or what??!

The boss called last night to ask about the ratings given to the team. She doesn't like the idea that everyone got good ratings. I told her to change it according to her judgement, in other unspoken words = I don't care. And then she was asking about mine and what I think about being in the position I am in the past year. I just said need more improvement and also I don't mind if she wants to change the ratings according to her judgement, also = I don't care. For godsake, I was wheezing and coughing all the while talking to her, I can't even think properly, she expect me to make sense during the call? And I am horrible in "selling" myself, so seriously, Whatever.

Sigh... Everything has been one big dissapointment after another. I asked and I have been waiting, patiently. So now I am going to demand, you good things better be coming my way soon... else, one fine day when I am really all dead inside I might just pre-empt my life and get it over with... if I have the guts.

Eff the world and everything in it...

2009-06-21T20:16:00.004+08:00

This has not been a good day at the part time bacon place. Screw you and screw you and screw you!

Oh... I am depressed, can you tell? Duh.

~*it's beginning to feel like... a chore. That's what!

2009-06-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

I am talking about the concerts, that's what. The joy of that peanut-ish job is turning into more of a chore these days, and even more so today at the debriefing session after the a full morning of concerts (2 of them!).

Yes, a lot of things needed improvement, especially And mainly for those who's been there for ages but still clueless (by choice I would say!)... well ok, some of the newer ones are also pretty common sense-less and definitely not up to expectation, but improvement aside, the whole feel of the place is no longer the same. Gone are the carefree days where we actualy enjoy doing it, while doing a good job, or at least as what is expected of us. The complains today were plainly daft, and the reactions were insincere and feels downright fake. But I especially cannot stand the so call leads who points out others' 'glaring mistakes' when they themselves may be even worse or more guilty of that same mistake.

Don't get me wrong, it's not a case of leads vs the non leads, cos I am also one of the leads. Sigh... apparently for te new season, before signing the yearly contract, we'll all go through a 3 months probation. And I was thinking... 3 months probation and then What? Confirm us? No contract for us? What??? Stupid new management. Stupid new arrogant head. Stupid people for sucking the joy out of my part time bacon. Sigh...

Ah well... was going to say, on to happier things, but can't find anything that makes my heavy heart leap out of this current mood. Damn. Shall go grab a drink... laters...

~*it's a Pass!

2009-06-18T15:30:00.001+08:00

Remember the little course we went to a couple of months back? Well... we were all a bunch of nerves waiting for the results... and finally... after the long long wait... we got it today... AND we Passed!!! We all passed! Ok, not like I was really concerned for other people :p but yay la...

Work has been the same old mundane madhouse, I guess, and especially since my tiny little study project started. Learned quite a bit from this, and been in and out of meetings as if that's my KPI. Also, I've experience flying off somewhere for meetings and back in the same day, which I have found to be quite extravagant to say the least. And waking up early and bloody damn tiring aside, it was indeed an experience. Pardon the jakunness :p

On the love front, well, it is going... at a slow and steady pace, I would say... how else would it go when both not physically together? So, as tough as it has been, it is going pretty well.

Oh... a bit of vacay news... in exactly 1 month from today, we will be off for some tubing fun in the sun! :) yup... river tubing to be exact! Woo hooo.....! Oh before that, also waiting for the next trip, just before tubing adventure, to Roomie's hometown to do my hair. Her stylist has been doing a good job on her and the sis, so I thought I'll pay a visit, since I am freaking out of idea for the messiness on my head! Oh, I am going back to curly curlssss....

So. Can't. Wait.

~*words are all we have to give... now...

2009-05-27T21:45:00.003+08:00

Still a smitten kitten but long distance is a big big challenge! I am an impatient, impatient person. When I am in love, yes love, I also get paranoid, over analytical and plain paranoid. It's not easy for me to be positive and sunshiney and all that. But I have to be. :) and I will try to be. I can't force things, I can't make it go faster, there's basically nothing much for me to do, really, actually. I made a choice, and a decision to accept him and to want him, the universe will have to work its magic now. I just have to be patient... but, I am an impatient person! So it sucks. Big time. And now I am rambling on my blog, cos he's on my fb, myspace, gtalk, even ym, so this IS the only place I can ramble! Well, ramble I did! and ramble somemore I sure will!

~*smitten kitten...

2009-05-10T20:45:00.002+08:00

I am so a smitten kitten these days... it's a nice feeling. The only downside is, he's so far away. I've known him for 2.5 years, I think. Our mails combined can become a book by now. Our few hour chats flew by without me even noticing. Feelings for him didn't just happen recently. It started way back, but he's so far, and I never thought it could be mutual, so I just let that slide.

When he was here however, those feelings surfaced again. I was a bundle of nerves the first day we finally met up. It was awkward but not unpleasant. He's english, so yea, way more proper than I would've liked... haha... even in person, the hours spent talking just flew by. Hours turned into days that turned into a whole weekend of hanging out together, and it still feels too short... and then he had to leave for a week to another country, and we're still, "just friends".

It happened when he came back here again after his week away... the day he finally took my sweaty hand in his... while crossing the road, and never let go since :) corny, yea... but I could not stop smiling when that happen. I've been single for so long, I've forgotten how it felt like... and it was him... And it was... sigh... lovely.

I don't want to put a label on us yet, but it's nice to know that his family now knows about me. As for mine, I'll leave that for the day he propose :) yea yea... you're thinking that soon, but I want to put it out to the universe that this is and will be the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want this to be my One. I was not looking, and I am glad he was just there all along.

~*am i having withdrawals?

2009-05-07T16:33:00.004+08:00

Is that possible??? Can one have withdrawals when your someone has to leave for where he's from, after only 2 weeks of being together - as in started getting together, together?? Omg. I did not expect to be this affected by his home going. Suddenly hit me that he's no longer just a text away. Damn. Have to go back to emails... :(

How to tahan la, it's only the 2nd day. Damn. Nvm, time heals all wounds... just give me another week... or two, and I'll be fine. Sigh......

~*one week from today...

2009-05-06T09:17:00.002+08:00

... one week from today, I'll be in beautiful Bali. Sun, sea and literally surf. I should be real happy and excited. I am thinking of the last embrace instead. 6 months is not that long... till we share another kiss in the cold winter... sigh...

~*starts in my toes...

2009-05-05T12:11:00.003+08:00

...finally here in person and in my arms. Maybe not everything I hoped for or more, but I am learning to accept... and it's not bad :)
Just wish we have one more day...

~*Bubbly

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is fallin' on my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin' safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way?
I just, mmm...

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin' shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever, wherever, where ever you go
Wherever, wherever, where ever you go

~*beach holiday destination suggestions wanted!

2009-04-16T22:40:00.005+08:00

Whoa... the last entry was more than a month ago. Lazy me... tsk tsk. Anyways, a lil update here, the lump in my throat has been reduced to a tiny, not so noticeable little bump since the last time my neck got poked. So, yay!

I've started my personal training couple of weeks back and end up with muscle injuries afterwards. Last week the trainer got me doing arm strength exercises, and I end up with a very painful elbow that goes on until I had to take medication. And then, a couple of days back he got me doing leg strength exercises and I end up limping on one leg the day after and in bed almost the whole day the 2nd day after - a second course of medication followed. And if my trainer continue saying that it's because I am too "soft" thus the injuries, I am going to shove my new Nikes into his blardy mouth... seriously. Now I regret taking up this idiot as trainer. Damn.

Bali is about a month away... can't wait. Will be staying here the first 3days with the parents, and then the last 2 days with the girls, not sure where but it sure won't be as pretty as this one. Sigh... hehe...

After Bali, I am planning for another beach vacation. I know, I know, I sound greedy right? but it's for my birthday, you see. It's been 2 years since I "celebrated" the birthday thingy in KL, so it's time to get away this year. hehe... ok I know I know, still sound/seem greedy after the explanation and yea, it's just an excuse for another vacation... so what... :p Anyways, I would love to revisit the fullmoon party beach but the direct flight there is too pricey and other islands/beaches are not as appealing as this one, sigh... so, still looking...

~*when is enough, enough?

2009-03-10T12:28:00.004+08:00

Being sick is a lonely thing. People around you can care for you, support you and all, but in the end it's you against the egg like lump. Ok, lumps sound scary, what about nodule... nah too long a word. So anyways, yea, there has been a lump in my throat the size of half an egg for the past 2.5 weeks. it came up out of nowhere, it grew 1.5cm within 12 days and somehow manage to pump itself up another cm within 3days, making my long weekend "holiday" a real sucky one. Adding to that, I've also been down with fever for the past few nights. Sucky.

About the lonely part, well, everyone around you are usually more freaked out about it than you, usually la. So most of the time they'll tell you it'll be fine, it's nothing serious, don't have to worry about it etc etc. Well... it's sweet and encouraging, and bless their heart for caring, but sometimes, you just want to talk about it normally like any other things. Sigh... yea. I am not scared and am not worrying much about it, but I am pissed. Pissed cos it wasn't supposed to be affecting my life in any way, but apparently, that's not true. Hurts so bad this morning, I nearly cried eh, after letting the doctor stick giant needles into my neck to let out blood from the thingy to release some tension it was causing.

Ok... enough whining. Time for some zzz...

~*you know...

2009-01-30T12:17:00.001+08:00

... that your car is that old, when even the macha who washes your car tells you "Amoi, you tukar kereta la, manyak lama wor..."
(roughly means "time to get this junk out and get yourself a new ride girly...", yea, something like that la :p)

The heck with it la, I still love my little car...

~*you want to meet me where??

2009-01-30T09:48:00.007+08:00

Ok, if someone asks you out, to hang out, someone who's apparently interested in you, not your everyday friends. You would probably think of meeting at places like the cinema, coffee places, the park to walk his bitches ker (girl doggies ma!), dinner ker, or even to watch a concert at the philharmonic if you are all that cultured ar :p

But nooo... guess where someone wanted to hang out this weekend? Jusco supermarket... ta daaa! And I even get to choose if I wanted to meet up at this Jusco or that Jusco! Weeee... Wth. Speechless leh.

I have nothing against supermarkets etc. I love them, but I don't hang out with guys there. I do my shoppings there. Me not in college or highschool anymore leh... Jusco? Seriously?

Had to respectfully decline cos having some family thingy...
Maybe he wants to find out if our shopping personality match? Aih...

~*CNY vs Christmas... which do i prefer?

2009-01-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

CNY is for my parents and for making them happy. Christmas is all for me, me and me! Tough choice huh...

I am back in my own tiny abode. Obviously feeling much better, I even look better now. Seriously. I am neither hot nor cun, in any way, when I am at parents', seriously. But let me come back to my own place, clean up... whoa! Ok la, whoa is abit over la kan.. but seriously. I feel ugly when I am in hometown, to the point I feel grossed out at myself, to the point I don't even like meeting people when I am there. Doesn't help that I have a parent who calls me, erm fluffy girl (fat is such a dirty word! :p) My name on that parent's phone is saved as that. And they tell me I've got confidence issue...

~*the heck!

2009-01-27T04:59:00.001+08:00

I can't sleep. I fell a sleep around 2.30am, I think, and I am wide awake at 4.30am. My arms are numb-ish and my heart is not at ease. I feel afraid, afraid if our kindness, niceness are backfiring. Afraid since distance is no barrier for certain bad things... Gosh. It's almost 5am, and I'm freakin tired, for pete sake. God, help me let go, help him/them let go and just move on with all our lives.

Ok, I know this post sounds freaky but I can't explain or elaborate on it, so, sorry but dun ask, when you guys see me back at work.

Damn... the rooster's up and crowing, and I am getting a headache. Why is it that I have such bad sleep at my own parents' house? Urghhhh....

~*I am too selfish to have kids right now...

2009-01-27T00:54:00.003+08:00

After spending about 2 days at home with my uncle, aunts and a baby cousin, I realised, there's no way I can handle being a mother right now. Maybe my little cousin is more than a handful compared to other kids - she's a perfectly healthy little girl, who happens to enjoy and perfected the art of wailing, constantly, whole day over anything.

Even if the kid is not the whiny sort, you still have to play with them and keep them entertained the whole entire day. I cannot imagine the exhaustion! And if the kid is like my little cousin here, the frustration - read above. Her poor mother looked so damn tired, seriously poor thing... I would've smacked the kid if she was mine. And that, is probably why I am neither a wife nor a mother yet.

If only all kids are like estella and little sis - the smiley sisters, hardly cry, keep themself entertained with just a bassinet of water and smiles at everyone/everything that pass by them. Might be a bit dangerous the last one, but Adorable giler ar...

~*Gong xi gong xi... Xin nian kuai ler...

2009-01-27T00:02:00.007+08:00

Chinese believe in someting call turning your luck - obviously to turn away the bad ones and bring in the good ones. One of the "tool" to bring in the Ong (good luck) and blow away the Suey (bad luck) is this little fan/propeller looking "gadget". We call this thing erm, chinese windmill (??). If I recall correctly, you can see a lot of these in temples in Hongkong... especially during new year. It looks very pretty when blown by the wind and the more it turns the more ong you'll get, apparently la.

Erm... actually all I wanted to do was just post the pic of this little thing hanging in front of our very humble home, but end up blabbing a bunch pulak... consider this Chinese Culture Ed 101 this Chinese new year la... :)

~*one of the meaning of Sad...

2009-01-26T20:11:00.007+08:00

... is when 2 person who likes each other is not able to communicate properly, let alone express their feelings to one another through the phone. It's not only frustrating, it is actually sad when every conversation circles around - how are you, I am good, rain or no rain, many people or no many people, you come back. It's like I so want to hear your voice and freakin happy to received your call, but how do I begin to talk to you and vice versa? Oh gawd...

3G phones are seriously a necessity in times like this. It's amazing how people can get your messages clearer when you throw in a few hand gestures, seriously... if only I am rich enough to be a sugar mommy. Cougar aready qualified la... and damn, I hate that word. What is it that people have against women dating much younger guys that they have to name us that ar? Erm... I am not dating anyone right now. Really.

Anyways, what is the name for guys who dates much younger women then? Oh... yea, they are called lucky b@st@rd$, among other names, chai mai (right)? I am practising... so you'll probably see splatters of that language here and there in future posts, kaaa....

~*bored and wilting in this ridiculous heat!

2009-01-24T12:10:00.002+08:00

3rd entry of the day. I am THAT bored. I am sure everyone else is already enjoying their long weekend, preparing for the chinese new year, packing, or stuck in the traffic somewhere around the country, but not me. I am hella hella bored. Not exactly excited about this year's celebration... erm... I don't think I remember being really excited ushering the new year, in a long time. It's just not exactly my thing. The only excitement I can remember from last year was the fireworks. Yea, the bright, sparkling, fiery, beautiful awesomeness that is banned in our beloved country, but make a trip down towards the land where the Hokkien people are plentiful, and the oink oink soups are good on chinese new year eve, and feast your eyes. Surround firework display continuously for more than an hour! Now that would be something to look forward to this year.

Been chatting with a famous photog for the past hour or more I think. At least someone to communicate with at this our la, cos the roomies are already asleep since they have to wake up early for their journey home tomorrow. And nice fella he is - especially because he said I couldn't be older than 26 :) miahahahah, i am a sucka for flattery ma. Don't tell me you're not happy if you're turning 32 this year and people thought your 26, At most. But don't bother telling me if you ARE 26 ar :p

Oh yea, if you're, erm, the few friends who reads this blog regularly, you might notice the sudden shift in my entry style... got PICS one leh! Hehe... just thought I'll try out what a lot of other bloggers do - post plenty of pics with short description and be all happy about it, and maybe up my readership by being more visible after blogging for more than a couple of years, and not leave anonymous comments, And maybe try to earn a bit of the nang dough, but after a few entries like that, I told the small roomie, I feel like I am betraying my little blog leh, and so not being true to meself. Yea, yea, drama drama... but you know what I mean, right? :p

So I thought, ah well, eff it. I can't be a sell out like that. Not here. Maybe I'll create another blog elsewhere just for that... maybe maybe... :p

P/S: Special thanks with all me heart to a certain Mr T who always seems very concern after reading my bitchings, and who's always asking me if I am ok whenever he sees me. I am ok la dear... *hugs*

~*blossommy new year!

2009-01-23T22:05:00.008+08:00

...took this while on my mad dash to Pavillion and then back to KLCC trying to get some last minute shopping done... pretty huh...

...blossoms everywhere... :)

~*one of the many reasons I am getting older by the minute!

2009-01-23T21:39:00.007+08:00

...my drive to work this morning...

...my drive home in the evening...

all my youth (what's left of it, that is :p) wasted on these roads... tsk tsk...

~*raaaakkkk... :D

2009-01-22T21:50:00.005+08:00

Ok, I know I just posted an entry about maybe giving it a try with someone just a while ago. This post is about another person, someone I met a couple of weeks back. Someone who is even more different and unlike me - in terms of lifestyle, erm... country... AND language! (hehe), but I suka lor, what to do :)

I was going to call him yesterday, just to say hi, obviously missing him, but didn't get through, and guess what, he called just now, he called! Hehe... ok la, this one is just a holiday crush and sad to say, definitely has no prospect or future one la... but still... the call make me oh so... mengada happy! I rike... tee heee..... :*

God willing, I'll see you again k... mwahs.

~*when you tell me that you... like me?

2009-01-22T21:32:00.004+08:00

"I like you!" said someone yesterday. Someone who is very unlike me. Someone I used to really like as well, but key word, used to. Now, I am not really that sure. Flattering yes, sweet definitely, but I am really not sure about this and I still have the sweets for a certain someone I met very recently. But you know what? I am probably going to give it a try, as long as I am still able to get pass reality, at least for now.

Hmm... sweet sugar candyman... show me what ya got :p

~*thai or brazilian?

2009-01-22T21:08:00.006+08:00

I am talking about flip flops la...

Ipanema by Giselle Bundchen (dun remember the price), OR

Tickel (??), Made in Thailand, RM 10!

After a long, painful walk yesterday, my vote goes to... the RM 10 one lor! Seriously. Read everywhere that Ipanemas slippers are "very comfy" etc. etc. But no lor... hurt my pretty pretty feet ok (hehe)... the people who said that probably have very tebal skin on their feet lor. Seriously. I'll be sticking to my RM 10 Thai slippers from now on, tqvm!

~*new year, new beginnings?

2009-01-20T13:00:00.000+08:00

Not really. Same old predicaments jumping in and out in front of me. Same of complains of so much to do dunno where to start. Same old need more money whines. Argh...

Just came back from some briefing, which of course means more work. All of these briefings are the same, your name may or may not be in the project list etc. but the work will definitely come our way. I am not exactly whining about the workload, I am whining about needing more directions. Argh. I DO NOT like being in this position. I DO NOT like the work I am entrusted with. I DO NOT LIKE the baconshop. I DO NOT LIKE the butt kissing culture to "climb" the so called ladder and ultimately, I DO NOT LIKE THE CORPORATE WORLD!!! I can't NOT feel "dirty" afterward when I have to be nice to certain people just for the sake of being visible, or to get into their good books. I can't.

I want to get out of this environment, but sadly, doing things that pleases oneself doesn't pay as much as selling your soul in the corporate world. Reality bites.

Ok, I know... too much whining for the new year. Sigh. Really thinking about doing something else though. Really couldn't be arsed about the numbers, figures, people. But of course, again reality bites.

It's January now, 6 months since we all changed portfolios. I remember a couple of months into the new gig, I said i give this 6 months then I am out. 6 months later i am still here doing this. ARGH! Sigh... I'll give this another 6 months to get the projects over and done with, to add some furnishings to my CV and seriously, that's it. The operations work can kiss my (in the process of toning up) bootie buh bye. Seriously. Personal target. We'll see, in 6 months time if i get to bite back reality.

Btw, happy new year to yo'll... yea duh...

~*sabai dee mai ka?

2009-01-13T23:23:00.003+08:00

Ka...

Almost 2 weeks since we're back to reality. And these 2 weeks of reality has been pretty rough. Not only do I have to come back to this environment, to the stinky baconshop, then there were the major people issues. I was a walking zombie x10. My boss obviously noticed and was hesitant to even convey a simple "see me for something something meeting". She came over to my place, talked about something else, paused and was about to walk away, and only spill her intention when I asked if there's anything since she walked all the way to my place. I really look horrible (bad skin and all from the very lack of sleep and withdrawal syndrom thingy)as well as from the stress. Ah well... This week, I am ok. Got over (75%) Coke and Phangan. This week my brain and mind is back where it was before I went off, I think. Even my skin's improved. Yay.

So how was my 2 weeks in Thailand? To say it was awesome, would be quite an understatement. It was... awe-inspiringly awesome! I don't think many people would understand what's so great about loitering around some beaches, hanging out with the locals and not hitting the "must see" attractions that those places had to offer. Well, I can't explain it either. And I won't be convincing others to jump on the this kind of travel. I am too selfish like that :p kidding. It's just something that's either for you or not. As for me, there are no better way to travel. Sure, I would still enjoy the more luxury type, see and do all you can while you're there type of vacation, but I think probably because I know Thailand is a place that I will go back again and again, I did not rush myself to do anything... at all. We took our time, and basically just chill out. And this kind of travel, cliche as it may sound, is good for the soul. Really. Sorts you out, sorts your priorities and life perceptions out, because you have enough time to do that. Someone said you don't have to go so far to look for that something (I dunno what was the thing he meant, though), but I wasn't. I was not looking, I started off with just the thought that yay, long vacation, but I ended up overwhelmed with what I've been privilaged enough to experience.

I've never been away for this long before, and frankly, on the 3rd day, I was ready to ask the girls to cut our journey shorter. That was when I was still in the tourist mode and staying at tourists swamped areas. All that changed after we moved locale to a much, much smaller beach. That was when, my real vacation started, I think. When I had the time to just really slow down, and chill, and think, and to contemplate this thing call life. That, was when the awesome part really begin.

Sorry if this entry is even more boring than others, just something to get off my chest. We have a little journal that all of us take turns to write in, during our entire trip. It was Roomie's idea, and it was good! Really. Who knew people who used to dislike blogs could write so much and actually enjoying doing it. Will take some stuff out of there for some future entries... chop di kap peeps... oh, and I miss walking around with my big-ass bag!

~* of emo and passport...

2008-12-16T23:09:00.001+08:00

It wasn't an unusual day. It wasn't particularly unpleasant. Stressful, yes. Busy, yes, but we also got to spend half the day in the towers and got to go home at 4pm today. But, not happy la... emo. I know what's affecting me, and that's for me to know. But nothing to do with guys.

Another blow to my day was to discover that my passport expires on 20 April 2009, and I am travelling this Friday. Damn. And at that exact moment, bloody streamyx chose to go kaput on me. So had to bloody spend a few bucks to google for the nearest immigration locale via phone lor. And guess what, immediately after I got the info, came into the room, bloody streamyx decided to work again. Wtf. 6bucks credit burned.

~*aimless...

2008-11-27T22:49:00.003+08:00

They say that a female's mood can be highly influenced by the moon, when it mengambang and all. They also say that people born under the Cancerian sign are moon child, thus a cancerian's mood is also usually highly influenced by the moon. I am a Cancerian AND a female. All I can say is... dang dang dang. Dang the mood swings... and all the hopelessness I am feeling right now. Dang.

~*greetings from my new cube...

2008-11-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

Ok, to be fair, this place ain't all bad. The new cube is quiteeee alright. When I am inside the new bacon place and in my own little cube, it's fine. Only the journey and surroundings which still bothers most of us. You can't have everything can ya?

Sleepy...

~*Crushed...

2008-11-21T01:43:00.008+08:00

Early morning, he came over. Said he got a question, and hope I'll say yes. Would I have breakfast with him and another colleague of his, he asked. I said yes, and we went. I was truly happy. He even told dolly his dread for moving to the new building include not being able to see me so often. That was yesterday.

He came over to my cube frequently the whole of today after the breakfast. We chatted. We flirted, sort of. He asked to add him in FB. I did. I totally forgotten that one of my previous status mentioned something about cute spotty boy. And to my horror, only realised that when there's a mail from him in my Inbox asking if i was refering the spotty boy to him??? I just replied with a smile. What can I say? Roomie says, on the bright side, that is one hell of a hint to encourage him to ask me out soon. That was this evening.

Just got in bed and got online after a night out with my girls. Logged on FB to learn more about him, and learnt something too hard to swallow. He is married. W.T.F.

Now in bed, in front of my notebook, tossing between disbelief and sadness. My mind is filled with whys, but the why is not why did he lead me on like this, he might genuinely like me. The heart is a cruel thing. The why here is more like why does this have to happen to me. I will not do this. It is too cruel a joke.

It took a long time for me to crush this hard for him, and it took just one second to crush the dreams in my head.

~*2.5 days and a counting...

2008-11-19T11:49:00.008+08:00

Had a real interesting day yesterday. Bad bad incident in the morning, me screaming etc etc… but overall, interesting. I can’t share much about it since it involves quite a few people. They may not know what they say or did was interesting, but it so hella was! And at the end of the day, I can say that it was a pretty good day/week so far!

2.5 more days till we’re out of the towers. Besides missing the towers, and the spots, I realised there’s one more thing that I will surely be missing – people. Nice, funny people from other depts/teams. In our new bacon place, our floor is only shared among our own dept and one other support group.

You see, my current cube, which, I am shocked to admit is actually at a pretty good location. It’s right in front, so people from every other teams on the same floor, will stop for a chat, flirt, to share a joke etc etc whenever they pass by - a nice lady from other dept just passed by, said a lovely hello and some other niceties, while I am typing this!

I'll also really miss the recreation room here, the place where more friendships and camaraderies were formed with people that I’ll never cross paths with for work related stuff. Sigh. I am so going to miss that. Seriously. :’( My ex team will be far away, I am sitting way inside next to the window... same faces day in and day out. Bosannyer...

~*Bridget Jones diary...

2008-11-18T23:00:00.005+08:00

I am a Bridget Jones. Clumsy as can be, all by myself, pining over someone, and huge knickers… hehe. Saw him taking in the view this morning, went over to join him, went too close to the window and guess what… bam! I hit the glass. It was loud. Malunyer… I can only hope that some people (or him) find Bridget Jones type clumsiness endearing (wishing real hard!-sampai dah squint squint matanya :p). I can’t help that I am so bloody clumsy and spacey la!

I said previously that spotty not having the mutual feeling may not be a bad thing, well, I’ve changed my mind. My fingers are all crossed that he does. Apparently I am not as strong willed as I would like to be. I want him and I do not see a ring on his finger, but making the first move is out of the question. Regardless of what people say, girls making first moves seldom end in happily ever after, and I am too … erm, not young for just fun and games. If I am to be with someone now, it has to at least be something substantial la… I deserve that much. So spotty dearest, please, feel that way too… can? Cos if you don’t, then I’ll start being depressed next week, dang…

Oh yes, the mind change also has something to do with what the parents said… apparently they’ve given up hope on me ever having someone! Ah well… nothing wrong with ending up alone, right? What can ya do...

Note to self: Bring crystal for cleansing!

Streamys sux!

~*lovely monday...

2008-11-17T18:06:00.001+08:00

Lovely Monday after another duh conversation... women. aih... :D

~*I’ve got a crush on you…

2008-11-14T23:44:00.005+08:00

Yups, I’ve got a major crush on you… you cute, spotty lil boy, man… dude. I can’t let you know about it though, because a) you work for the baconshop, and b) I wouldn’t know what to do if the crush is mutual. But, oh sweet, spotty boy… how the world around me seems to slow down (really one! I swear! :p) whenever we pass each other, whenever our eyes and smiles meet… how my heart skips a tiny little beat whenever you come by my place just to make duh conversations… I was on cloud 9 all night after our little chat yesterday, eventhough I had to shoo you away to finish up my work. My cute, sweet spotty boy, one more week and that’s it. You’ll be on another floor in our new bacon place, and I’ll not get to see your cute spotty smile coming to the baconshop every morning :( sob… tsk… sob…

If my instincts are to be trusted, I have a feeling that this crush might be a tiny bit of a mutual thingy, and That could be a potentially scary thing. But If my instincts are screwed up, then that would have saved me from a lot of big decisions, or the potential heartaches, I guess. Not exactly a bad thing either. So I'll be content, with just this crush for you.

Regardless, I have one more week… to take in all your cuteness (??? wtf…haha), your handsome face (hahaha, so kuno, but really, if you look closely, he is handsome leh… but have to look real closely lah :p and if I have not mentioned it enough, his spotties are super cute! Hahaha… but, not like I am going to tell anyone who I am talking about though :p), your boyish smile, the way you talk… ok la, basically everything that I know about you outwardly. Too bad there isn’t more time left for me to know the inner you better…

Hmmm… time to hit the pillows… sweet dreams my sweets… sigh...

~*Straps...

2008-11-07T15:17:00.002+08:00

Yes, my ahem... top inner wear straps likes playing peek-a-boo, and I am sure it is a fashion faux pas etc etc, but so what? tsk tsk... men.

Btw, thank you for keep observing and liking the "lace" huh, future Puan Princess Dande... :p

~*hola... another freaky Friday...

2008-11-07T14:19:00.003+08:00

Wow… been a while since I last updated this. I blame it on the bacon of course. And my hair no longer looks like the pic below… tsk tsk… but that’s ok, I am fine with the side swept bangs now anyways. But unfortunately, the bangs only look nice a day or two after washing. So if u think my hair look “gorgeous” that day, chances are… it ain’t as clean as it looks haha…

This is long over due but, we went to Small Perhentian island (hehe… island, not pulau :p) a couple of months back. Had an awesome time overall. I think that, for now this is my all time favorite beach to swim in – crystal clear water up to few hundred meters from the beach, no pebbles, no corals or sharp hidden object out to get you on the seabed, and even if there were (but there were none) u can see it first and be aware since the water is so damn clear! It’s alike a giant swimming pool! Okok… a bit too hard sell on the water… but yea, loved the sea there. *Unrelated note - Roomie just bought our train tickets for our land of Siam vacation in December! Hoorah!

Lots of things happened the since the vacay. Mostly job related. The politicking at work is an eye opener, and it’s especially difficult when then politicking parties are all your buddies. Whose side are you going to be on? How do you maintain being neutral when one party brings up something that shocks you, something that really makes you go “omg, he did not just say that!”? It’s tough.

We’ll be moving in to a new bacon place in 13 days. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’ve been working in the these towers, and the tinier tower on the side for the past 7 years (?) and it’s hella difficult to leave. On the other hand, I am thrilled to not have the clients from all over the towers come straight to my face to follow up on their requests, IDs, their coffee maker not working (kidding :P) etc etc. – we’ll be far far away (well at least 10 mins walk away) from all you suckers! But that 10 mins extra walk is a huge bummer to all of us. Seriously. My new cube would be at one corner of the world far far away from the bacon chief of the dept. but I don’t get a partition. Sigh… you really can’t have everything huh. Plus Plus… this is the worst part of it all, it’s already freaking November and we still have no news about our bacon adjustment. We were told it would be in October, but funnily, not sure due to amnesia or any memory eating germs infecting the bacon chief, she actually do not recall telling us that our bacon revision will be in October. So, sad to say, the possibility of a bacon revision looks quite bleak at the mo.

One big news of the week, the Big Bacon Shop (BBS) will be acquiring our tiny bacon shop soon. Not announced or made official yet, but apparently the ground works ie. Business model etc etc is already in the works. BBS is famous for their humongous staff bonus bacon, but unfortunately, our perks will not be the same. The only consolation is that we can finally say that, yes we’re BBS’ staff. Big freaking deal right? :p Sigh… Ok la… tired and back aching. Can’t wait to go home and hit our little bottle of red at home. Later…

~*Omg...

2008-09-11T13:59:00.002+08:00

Omg... my skin is peeling. The byproduct of facial. I look like a snake changing skin leh. Damn. Malunyer...

Anyways, forgot to mention my hair now looks quite like this. RayKziee calls it cawaii, ha.ha. but of cos mine looks more Jap-ish (according to most comments :p) than Heidi Klum-ish la, and also reddish! Just a change la, u know...

I am soo sleepy.

~*stop pinching my face, can?

2008-09-08T16:36:00.008+08:00

I seriously, absolutely hate facials. I hate having the steamer thing blow hot air to my face for more than 10 minutes, or was it 20, or more??? To open the pores konon, almost suffocating me in the process.

I also hate having someone pinch/squeeze/poke my face with all their might, hurts like fck ok! And, I hate having to lie down in total inactivity waiting for the pores to open, for the mask to dry, for the serum to be absorbed etc etc. I am not one of those that can sit, in this case lie still without doing anything and "relax" to the "soothing music/sounds" - which I usually find annoying because it's so generic, and it's always the "sound of ocean/waves" or sound of something la... boring.

I like massages because during massages, someone IS doing something to you the entire time (hehe... not that la!), but facial, urgh... No doubt i think everyone needs to go for facial, once in a while, but I still hate it. I only get them probably once... in a year or two, so yesterday's facial already hit my quota for this year. At least la, right...

~*she got bright toe nails I tell ya...

2008-09-08T09:51:00.002+08:00

I had my first pedicure yesterday. I know, 31 and first pedicure does not sound right, but I am a scaredy cat (haha, so retro right...). I am afraid of blades and knives and people cutting my nails, but I dunno why, I just went for it yesterday. Was a bundle of nerves as I sat there watching the lady clip away. Actually was looking away most of the time :D

Conclusion: I quite like it! Feet sure felt nice, but the color is way tai tai-ish for me actually. Haha... bright red ler. It didn't look so red on the color pallet but ended up really "popping" on my feet!

Anyhow, I have a feeling this is going to be another added expenditure in future budget plannings... hehehe... tis sucha girly post...nyuk nyuk...

~*ode to a pink shirt...

2008-09-05T13:32:00.003+08:00

I am not a fan of shirts. Hardly wear them, thus hardly buys them. Any, ahem, non-flat chested people will share my similar predicament. The shirts sold here are all catered for the less well endowed lot. People like me, wearing those shirts are very prone to wardrobe malfunctions, u know - buttons coming off, thus causing the peek-a-boo effect (u know what i mean :p) etc etc.

That is why I am writing this today, to sing my high praises for my RM25 (on sale ma...) Marks & Spencer shirt! Not only was it cheap, it has erm... allocation for the... extra female... bumps? Haha... No malfunctions in any way, and shows off the erm, the curves quite nicely.

Haha... it's a weird entry, I know. But I am weird like that. I am also extremely tired right now. Only 3 workdays for me this week and I am beat flat! Bad english, yea... what can ya do... I need a vacation soon!!!

~*fly me to the moon...

2008-08-30T21:35:00.004+08:00

"How good it is, to be loved by you..."

Ok, that is just the song playing on my player right now. A bit lame la... Buble’s cd ma, what d'ya expect?

Had a darn tiring day. Slept around 1 last night only to be woken up at 2am by the resourceful guy’s text, the one I talked about previously. Pissed me off big time. Shall not get into that now, or ever. Water under the bridge...

Anyways, woke up almost 7 this morning, rushed to the pyramid bowl for the baconshop’s bowling tourney. Roomie and RayKziee were in a team with a couple others, me with a totally different crowd. It was pretty fun. Getting to just hang with people I don’t normally hang out with, and Thank the high heavens I DID NOT suck that bad! Wooo hooooo! I was not the lowest scorer in the team, our team came in 12 out of 26 team, And and… get this, I was placed 14 among all of the female players. Haha… as roomie put it, the upper half, she was 12. Ok la… I thought I was going to suck more.

Went for lunch in Subang with the rest of roomie’s team, shopped for a bit in Pyramid, got myself the slimming gadget thingy at a steal! Before we left, I manage to somehow, after avoiding that particular café in Sunway, bump into him. Him being Ian. I can say his name out loud here cos we've never had a history and ours was a path crossed very briefly yet, strong enough for it to be etched in my memory until now. He is the one that got Buble’s Home playing over and over and over in my head, in my car, in my home etc etc. for a whole week, I think.

Anyways, we needed change for the autopay, so I went to the nearest store there and ordered the cheapest thing, hot doggie. I was waiting for my hotdog and there he was, out of no where, and suddenly standing behind the counter, but thank the high heavens again, he was looking elsewhere at that moment and didn’t see me. ~Dang, Home just came up on the player.

Managed to move to the side and out of his view, contemplating if I should wait for the waiter to get my doggie or make a run for it. Then the waiter came over and told me something about going off to get something. I decided, and ran for it. Not literally la, but I sure walked fast!... forsaking my RM 4 hotdog. A bit loser and big time drama, right. Sigh. Dunno what to say. I still feel, I guess.

~*my nose itches...

2008-08-28T23:58:00.003+08:00

I am alright with my necklace now. Sad but what can I do? Told mom and she asked me to buy lottery, cos necklaces don’t just go missing when you're wearing them, so there must be something to it! :D Chinese. I must have sounded extremely sad cos I remember her saying she’ll get a new one for me. So sweet right! But those are irreplaceable lor, eventhough they came from her as well. So, yea, I am… sigh, ok with it now.

Met this friend I know from Myspace for a couple of years for a little while this afternoon. He came to return some cash I loaned to him a couple of weeks back when he got robbed. Was just a tiny amount of money, but at least I helped, even before I ever met him in person. Tis a very resourceful guy, managed to earn back all that he lost in the robbery within a couple of weeks. I can’t share how he does it but it sure cracked me up when he told me about it. Legality is definitely questionable here, but you really have to respect the dude’s guts and… resourcefulness? Haha… Sorry la, I really can’t share it here. And no, he did not go rob someone else ler…

I’ve just been asked the reason I am still single, again. The guy’s a friend from Fb, works in the theatre industry, currently in some musicals, which I have free tix to but couldn’t find time to go for yet, and also I think he kinda likes me, so… shy ler. Since I am not looking for a bf or anything, no need la. Not like I am that big a fan of the theatre anyway.

Oh, and my answer to that question above nowadays – I don’t want/need one. That’s all. No more I haven’t met the one, or someone I want to be with, I am picky, yada yada, yada… Now I just say, I just don’t want one now. Period. You’ll know it when I want/found the one…

~*how stupid can I be?

2008-08-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

Words cannot begin to describe the sadness I am feeling right now. I lost 2 of the presents that I got from the parents for my last 2 birthdays. My 30th birthday’s necklace and the crystal pendant that I got this year, both my favourites. The worst thing is, I don’t even remember when I lost them, and could probably be even earlier than last Friday after checking back some pics we took last Friday and they weren’t there anymore. How could I? How could I not even realise it? How could I have taken so long to notice it’s gone??? Careless and dumb people should NOT wear precious stuff on them… :’(

… please find your way back to me…

~*I am weird but guys are weirdER :p

2008-08-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

I’ve been meaning to write about some thoughts that we’ve shared over the weekend on relationships, not the lovey dovey type but relationships with guy friends, and the roles we play in these relationships. I’ve been single for quite a long time now, and I always thought that I’ve already forgotten how be in a lovey dovey relationship, but lately I’ve discovered that, that’s not the only type of relationship with a guy that I don’t know how to be in. Turns out, I suck at being in a friendly relationship with the opposite gender as well. Relationship with guy friends are all fine and stuff, UNTIL I start to actually hang out with them (Just a note: roomie is just as bad if not worse, haha...). This is where the gender role thing comes into play.

The thing with being single and 31 is that, you can get overly self dependent. I mean, if you’re single and living out on your own, you pretty much have to stand all on your own, right? You make decisions on your own, you do most of everything yourself, you pride yourself for being uber self sufficient and in control, often telling yourself what the guys can do, you can probably do it better and pretty soon your world tend to be all about you and your self sufficiency. And if you’re like me, you might even come to think, what are guys useful for anyways?

But that’s not good, right? Not especially when you have guy friends that you start to hang out with. Like it or not, you have to let go of your control, sit back and let your guy friend BE a guy and do his thing. I’ve also learnt that you can’t be doing all the thinking or decision making (even though it might be the better decision, sometimes :p) cos if you do, you risk getting them pissed, and you, ending up wondering why they got pissed when you're are actually thinking it for their benefit anyway. Not so fun when that happens. So... that was my lesson learnt last weekend, thanks to a certain friend.

~*The Blahmmy...

2008-08-26T23:07:00.001+08:00

Brendan Fraser disappointed me this year. Both of his much anticipated (by me la…hehe) movies were… blah. Just got home from watching The Mummy, and some Thai chow at Chakri with roomie. Quite a relaxing day, except that it’s only Tuesday! Sigh…

Malaysia’s favorite airline (or ours, at least) started their free seat campaign today. 0 fares for all their flight, if you get the right dates la. Managed to book a short Bali retreat for the parents and I, tried persuading sister to go but she didn’t really want, so, that’s almost 300 bucks saved. Would be really good if she comes along though, but I guess you can’t make a 25 year old tag along if they really don’t want to… right? Ah well… the follies of youth. Live and learn I guess. And there goes 2/3 of my small B, including my new lappie la... all compensation for missing out on my Italian dream this year. Ok la…

Unrelated note, anyone who knows me, I mean KNOWS me, knows that I am obsessed with losing weight. (Note: Obsession is one thing, actually losing it is quite another story :p) I am always on some diet, or looking for some ways of achieving that besides the obvious – exercise, which would be fine, except that I have long long hair and I hate hate washing it everyday, so my latest fad was to get one those home slimming gadgets, where I can use while indulging my favorite past time, TV in bed ler, what else :p Almost bought one yesterday, but I remembered the parents had one at home, so I’ll probably “borrow” it this weekend, and try it for a couple of weeks to see if it really works, before actually going out to get it. I’ll keep you posted.

~*goody!

2008-08-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

Ahhh…. That’s a happy ah, not the whiny one. Why? Because I am typing this little piece right on my little bed… ahhhh… lovely. I finally got myself a little, long overdue notebook. Me likey.

After surveying for a couple a days, by surveying I mean asking my knowledgeable colleagues which notebook I should get, I was kinda set on getting an Asus EEPC. It’s small, cute and within my tiny budget. However, there was this HP mega sale thingy, that I thought I should at least check out. So together with a couple of other colleagues, we brave the M.O.A.J (mother of all jams ler) last Friday, and got ourselves to this little mall in PJ. The guys reached just about 15 mins before us and already checked out the best buy there. It took us probably just 15mins to decide on getting the notebook. 3 notebooks to be exact. I’ve spent longer time buying… broccoli (?). Seriously… but, we’re all pretty happy la…

I have yet to get internet connection, mainly because I have yet to find the time to sign up. After speaking to some experts, namely my geeky little sister (hot, but geeky :p), I think I’ll be taking the one with the misleading ad with pics of burger and drinks. Hmm… wonder if the burger has anything to do with my decision :p

Speaking of burgers, I just had my first taste of Carl’s Junior. Was at the latest fancy mall in town, trying to make use of the RM50 worth of vouchers, courtesy of RayKziee, but lo… who would’ve thought that 50 bucks doesn’t get you much these days. Of course I could top up another 50 bucks or so for other stuff, but nothing stroked my fancy. Then I thought maybe should use it to get RayKziee something, since the vouchers came from him anyway, but yea, once again, found nothing.
Too bad. Anyways, back to the giant Portobello mushroom burger that I had. Yummmmmy!!! Jakun right? Haha… but seriously too much for one to stomach though.

Since I am in the mood to blab, and since I haven’t had the chance to update for some time now, I shall continue blabbing lor…

Had a really packed weekend. It is that time of the year again where almost everyone in the office finds an extra amount of cash in their bank account come payday. Some more than others, but for me, I can’t complain, really. It could always be better but it’s alright. And since Dolly’s was way more than mine and since she’s a lovely, generous dolly, she treated us to lunch at The Apartment. I liked it. I think I liked it more than our original plan to eat at Chilli’s, but then again I am a sucker for ambience :p
Also, since Roomie’s was way lot more than mine as well, she treated her sis and I to a night out at the dingy joint around the corner. We went there because the dj happens to be a ji mui :p so it’s ok la. We had an alright night… all 3 of us were “flying” by the time we get home. Hehe… not too bad la…

Lots more to blab but I am dead tired. So… to be continued ler… nite nite…

~*monitor monitor, why so blue?

2008-07-31T13:45:00.004+08:00

It's 1:45pm, again :) had very yummy dried oyster and peanut porridge. Not sure if it's the hunger or it was really that yummy. Bought from this new, sort of Chinese dessert stall on level 4 of the mall below. Most authentic tasting cheap porridge I've had. Portion's smaller than the ones you get from hawkers but much cheaper, only RM2.90. I liked it so much I had to write about it lor. Yummss...

Yea, my huge monitor's gone blue. I can still use it, but the blue tint was starting to hurt my eyes. It didn't bother me as much when at my old secluded cube when the lights aren't that bright, or maybe it was just depressed being moved to the new cube thus turning extra blue. I dunno. I can't really tell.

Anyways, after getting asked "Why your monitor so blue ar?" like a hundred times yesterday by everyone passing by - which is ALOT of people due to my strategic location, I've changed to another old smaller monitor today. Peace and quiet now.

~* words from ma new cube...

2008-07-30T13:57:00.001+08:00

It's 1:45pm. 15 more mins till lunch break is over, 15 mins till the lights in the towers are back up. Today's the first day I am here at my new cube. How am I liking it so far? If only you can see my face. I have to limit (very limited damn it!) all my extracurricular online activities ie. facebook, blog etc. etc. to lunch time now since my place is so in the open and my monitor is the biggest around here - stupid cheapskate baconshop didn't gimme a new flat, compacted one. :(

I know I whine too much about this, especially since this IS a promotion, but I am not a corporate ladder person at heart :( my ambitions are elsewhere, And there's someone snoring loudly, 2 cubes away right now. Dang.

Sigh... Anyways, caught Sex & The City Movie with mom last weekend. I think it is better suited to be a Season 7 of the series rather than the movie. None of the characters were memorable since everything has to be compacted into a 2hour plus movie. Also I've learnt that it can get uncomfy watching love/sex stuff with a parent. I guess am that conventional when it comes to parents.

Got to get back to cracking my head now, lights will be up in 5 mins. Work work work... sigh. Snoring stopped. Time for a cuppa.

~*there's no price for awesomeness and attractiveness!! And I really don't wanna go... tsk tsk...

2008-07-18T18:15:00.006+08:00

I am in the mood to write! Hehe... plus I’ll be moving to my new cube *cough*hate it*coughcough* next week and is expected to be super busy then. This also means that I’ll no longer be in the same cube farm with the gang that I’ve grown to sayang so much! So. Not. Happy. And my new cube is just in front of the new loco boss! Loco = short for locomotive, cos she’s always on the go ler. Did you think I’d call my boss loco as in mad??? Yea, I would.

Anyways, yea, new place, not so good fengshui for my number priority at work – The Internet (what else?!). No longer can I just stare at my pc, typing furiously, looking as if I am hard at work, since the boss is just a few cubes behind. I am quite sure she can tell the difference between working and blogging. There are not enough damns and curses in the world for this, man.

Seriously. Me so Not Happy with that, it’s not even funny. Sigh. The only positive outcome from my move is that ma dolly gets to take over my lovely, awesomely fengshui-ed cube.  Sighhhhhhhhhh... damn youse restructurings! damn youse!!!

~*you ain't so poor, baby...

2008-07-18T17:23:00.005+08:00

You know, working in the twin towers can really disillusion one. Everytime you open the papers, you’ll read about how people are badly affected by the price hikes and poor economic situations etc etc. and everytime you watch tv, you’re bound to see some sad documentary showing how tough life can be for some people – Princess D was telling us how a family was so badly affected by the hikes, and couldn’t even afford cooking oil, that they had to collect chicken skins (from the chicken sellers, I guess), and then heat them in the wok until it produces oil which they then use as substitute for normal cooking oil! Wtf, right? While the dumbass politicians are on tv BS-ing and telling the nation that our people here is fine and cukup makan, these poor people had to live on chicken oil? (Btw, this doesn't mean I am a supporter of that alleged ButtMan, ok. Neither am I a fan of the dumb dumb they call the pm.) I don’t know the “nutritional” value to be found in chicken skin oil, but I Really doubt that it is a healthy thing to consume over a long period of time. Sigh.

Anyways, back to the disillusionment (phew… big, tongue twisting word :p), you see, the mall at the bottom of the towers is famous for being quite a posh place to shop, and I get to see lots of people walking around with huge designer bags carrying their new designer purchases and LV is almost always filled with people. And then there are the eateries. Ok, the food courts are quite affordable with proper meals starting from 5 bucks, but there are also lots of posh restaurants and cafes, which are always full. Economy bad? Hanging around here, I really can’t tell. Obviously loads and loads of people are either very not affected or still just oblivious… and so lucky to be able to afford being oblivious. Sigh.

Anyways… will be going for Journey to the centre of the earth in 3D! 17bucks worth of ticket. Definitely a luxury item for me, especially after spending 10bucks on kebab for lunch earlier… for those reading this who are much, much richer than me and think this is peanuts… what can I say, good for u lor…

2008-07-03T16:37:00.004+08:00

Been pretty stressed out this week. Stressed out thinking, reading, researching on ideas to make more dough, as usual la kan, especially when I am assigned a post that I am not exactly thrilled about and now filled with the burning desire to drop out of this so called rat race. Hehe... drama kan! Anyways, I am Thankful la, but not thrilled, can ar? :p

The worst thing is when the boss of the team that I’ve applied to transfer to was actually expecting me to make the move, but once again, thanks to our Very Competent Hr, there was no news/feedback on the move for such a looong time that I thought the request was a sure goner, and I had no choice but to grab the next best thing offered here or be assigned this nightmarish post where I really, REALLY, I mean REALLY would not want to go back to. Seriously. Pretty damn kik sim (kik sim = sakit hati ma… see u learn Chinese today, who says my blog is not educational! :p) when I have to draft the mail declining that new boss’ offer, and even more kik sim when he said he already reserved a place for me in his team. Argh. Damn it.

Anyways, nothing much can be done now. I am a woman of my words... most of the time (I am only a normal human who errs and have to eat words sometimes ok ;p), so I will be here, do all that needs to be done well and fast, and THEN when all done... mu.a.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha... we’ll see.

Something unrelated, watched Be kind Rewind the other night… another good film with Jack Black in it. Simple story but definitely A+ for creativity. Unexpectedly funny, yet somewhat heart warming or was it wrenching ar? Dang, I forgot what emotion it was, laughing so hard. Anyways, I liked it a lot. And I've always find Mos Def cute. Weird taste huh...

~*be careful what cha ask for... ya just might get it lor....

2008-06-20T10:39:00.002+08:00

Horror of horrors. Transition period starts next week. I am SO not mentally prepared. I am the type that needs time to pace myself into something. Even my new team mate is asking when am I going to go over… arghhhh…

Me scared. Me heart skipped extra beat lor. Ok la, will stop dramafying it from now on. Time to suck it up and step it up. Wish me luck… yea yea, I am always asking you guys to wish me this and that… cannot is it? Very hard to wish is it? :p

Non related stuff, went for breakfast this morning at my usual joint, the waiter stared at me and told me “ you banyak hensem hari ini”. I told him hensem is for guys la…
Did he actually meant to say me preeety or me manly ar? Dang.

Anyways, on a brighter note Pandamonium at 0610 hours today… yay!

~*kidney beans...

2008-06-18T14:13:00.006+08:00

A little regret + a little pressure + a little room that’s just a little too warm = A WHOLE FREAKING SLEEPLESS NIGHT, that’s what! Seriously.

I am already pretty woozy throughout the day due to fever, and some kidney infection, but not being able to sleep, Really takes the cake. It is pure cruelty. Seriously.

On a positive note, the leukocyte count in ma pee has gone down 2 boxes (in reference to the tiny color tabs on the urinalysis… heee…), so yay. The doctor had already prepared his referral letters for admission, just in case it got worse, but thankfully it obviously didn’t. I am here whining aren’t I? :p

Still kinda woozy, not sure from over consumption of water or what. Can’t wait to go home and hit my one and Only sleeping pill I got from the clinic this morning. Doctors can be so paranoid when you ask them for sleeping pills, as if one pill will make you an addict or something. Anyways… wish me better health y’all. Heee…

~*upgrading you...

2008-06-13T16:58:00.007+08:00

I had decided to join another team. My application was pending the hr’s feedback, according to the boss of the other team. That was a week ago. There has been no updates/news since. And this week, we were all offered different “promotions” in our current bacon dept. and were required (read: pressured) to give our decision if we wanted to stay on or continue pursuing our applications to join other teams. Like what Princess Dande said, we Were happy yesterday morning. I Was happy yesterday morning. I was told that if I took the position offered, there will be monetary as well job band upgrade.

I was quite pleased, but I thought I had to speak to the boss to get some confirmation on that before jumping right into it, since, despite everyone’s opinion that I would be happier in non techie roles, I was excited and really looking forward to get into the other team. And yes, one of the reasons may be to get out of the current dept. but that’s not the entire reason. I Really do prefer talking to machines than human. To cut the story short, my happiness was short lived after chatting with the boss. Not only will the band not upgraded since I got an upgrade last year, the likelihood of a higher adjustment is pending on how pushy the boss is with the hr. It seems everything will depend on hr's approval. Yes, the hr that we all deem the worst we’ve seen. Our future happiness is in their hands. Sigh...

Still, I took the job. After all, someone once said a bird in hand is worth 2… flying around(?? I dunno...), right? I would gladly wait and pursue the other option if we had more time, but we had none apparently, or at least made to believe that we had none. The boss was submitting her new structure charts to the hr and we HAD to decide. So yeah, we had to decide. And I have decided. Was I thrilled? Pleased? Excited? Sadly, no. I’ve signed up for a job that I know nuts about. And the boss has high expectation for me in being along side the people who’ll be working to right the wrongs here, though most of whom are my gud buddies here. Sigh… on a brighter note, I’ll get a team of people whom I get to boss around soon. Haha. I am stressed.

Anyways, all that aside, it’s good to know that after declining to stay, again and again, eventhough I know that the boy next cube will always try to look out for me if I am in the same place as him (for whatever reason unbeknownst to me, but I am grateful for), he was still adamant in putting me in their new organizational chart, and the boss took a fair bit of time in explaining and clarifying the new job scopes and her visions etc., in hope that we will stay on. That for me is commendable. I appreciated it. Sigh… maybe a weekend away will takes some pressure off… I dunno… let’s hope so.

Note to self: I have to do the best with the new position. Failing, so not an option, else die lor...

~*ciao bella...

2008-06-13T11:29:00.002+08:00

I am dead tired. Been working at the philly 3days in a row since Tuesday and 2 of these were events, and events, fun as they may be, are killers. On normal concert days, you get to chill out and sit once it’s started, but events, you usually end up being on your feet for more than 3 hours, start to the end. Arrghh… I am just exhausted. It could be pms, but the work definitely played a part.

Last evening’s event was for the launching of the Italian treasure week in philly. Stradivarius violins over a couple hundred years old were on display. For the untrained eyes like mine, they just looked like… used violins lor. Anyways, there were lots of vvips ie. Sultan of some state and his brother was here, Italian ambassador, and lots more rich, dignified looking people. After the launch there was a nice, not huge but a nice spread of Italian refreshment – from risotto, gnocchi, tortellini, gelato, baby octopus (YUMS!), cheese tartlets, tiramisu (YUMMMS!), gelato etc. etc. and not forgetting the free flow of Italian wines. I wasn’t in the mood for wine, but roomie Really helped herself to those. Good for her. All in all, it was an enjoyable evening. And we got paid for it.
Mad props to ma part time philly bacon.

~*Tagged: Workstation blab...

2008-05-30T13:06:00.002+08:00

Ok, so Ms Dandelion tagged us and we had to do this cube description thingy, with pics and all. So there I was, happily snapping some pics to upload here. And lo, I just remember. I am supposed to be "anonymous". This ranting board of mine is supposed to be just that, a place to rant and bitch. I can't be that comfortable doing that if my true identify is revealed openly (haha, i know, as if the people who reads this blog don't already know who I am). So I figured, this is one tag that I cannot fulfill entirely. Sorry Ms Princess Dandelion dear, no pics, but you all know my cube looks very clean and nice right now, right? Hehe...

Ok, still, a bit of description, I have more than 1 pc, and really contemplating giving up the other one since I haven't even touched the other on for quite some time now but I like that it works like a wall for one side of my cube. Weird, I know. I have some ridiculously cute desktop ornaments (which does not necessarily reflect my "advanced" years, but I display them cos they were gifts!). I was just counting how many cups, water tumbler and shakers I have and realized, I just lost my small coffee cup :( First my spoon, now my cup, and my spoons are not the very cheap ones. Damn.

Anyways, one last thing about my cube is, I have a drawer full of coffee and coco drinks, protein shakes, cup noodles and biscuits. Yes, I'll be quite alright if ever I am trapped in the baconshop for a couple of days. Ok... I am done.

~*to tag or not to tag?

2008-05-29T11:18:00.001+08:00

I think I'll get on to the workstation tag by Ms Princess Dandelion in the next entry ler, alright?

Anyways, it's been 3 weeks or so since my going under the knive thingy. Everything seems fine. I can breathe through my nose with ease now, it's not completely healed but good enough. Touch wood and thank God. The thingy behind my ears still kinda hurt, not sure why though, but hopefully it's just because it needs more time to recover from the stitches. Yups, overall, good job Doc.

Oh, just missed out on another tiny thing, just a few days after the surgeries, I got infected by the pox. Chicken pox that is. Now that was NOT fine. It was horrible. I looked horrible. I felt horrible. It wasn't so much the pain, but the discomfort was pure hell. For me, chicken pox is definitely something I would only want for my worst enemy. Seriously. I had pox all over my head (yea hidden in my hair! Gross, right?), all over my face, and my whole torso. Ewww and ouch, but thankfully, not sure if it was my diligence in pill popping (every 3 freaking hours!), but the itching wasn't much of a problem for me. Everyone was saying that the itch is the worst, but I experience very little itching actually. Plus, apparently I healed quite fast, especially my face. So THANK GOD FOR THAT!!!

Oh, there's another thingy after all that medical drama the last few weeks, but I will not go into that, hehe... no point further grossing u guys out, but I am still on antibiotics for that and really hope to God that this is it. The last health ordeal for now. I know I am tough and all (haha), but enough medical drama for now, don't you think?

~*blossoms to the knives... arrr.....

2008-04-29T11:01:00.002+08:00

Ah… I thought it was time to update a little bit. Would have updated earlier but, you know… busy busy. Let’s see, the ear episode since my last update is not over yet. Just went for another course of meds yesterday, the next one will be on this Saturday. Apart from the periodic visit to the medical centre for meds, the ears are doing fine I’ll say, but I am currently waiting to have 2 minor ops scheduled for next Tuesday. Was a bit annoyed and stoned when the doctor advice me on the 1st op, but the 2nd one was more a bit more disturbing. I was already out of his office and still contemplating about the 1st tiny ops when he asked me back into his office and show me the very canggih video recording of the insides of my nose taken earlier and told me that judging from the images, I should get the nose thing done as well. Dang...

So, ok, Op 1 is to remove this tiny lump-ish thing behind my ear, something called sebaceous cyst. Sounds scary? Nah… just some blocked gland/follicle thingy.
Op2 is a little procedure called septoplasty to rectify my rhinitis/sinus wtv problems, and hopefully make me much healthier after this – I just found out that nasal illnesses can cause so many symptoms that we don’t even realize is related to it. Now I know la…

Anyways, am I nervous? Sure, but also really looking forward to getting over with it, cos it’s all I think about right now. Annoying. Ouh, if you are reading this Mr T, the screwed up expression you got when you were asking how I was yesterday was totally because of this... hehe... sorry.

Hmmm... tiny ops like that… won’t die one ler hor??? Hehe... wish me luck!

~*the Princess rocks!

2008-04-18T09:41:00.004+08:00

Yup, the princess aka Dandelion rocks! and this entry is dedicated to thanking her for her help yesterday. As indicated in my last "piece", my dizziness was at a pretty bad level. I was almost blacking out at any movement, but I still have to go to the doctors before it got even worse. Getting to my car alone was a big issue. Sitting down I was still able to maintain some stability, getting up and walking was a different story.
Not only was my balance off, mental and emotions were off as well. It wasn't painful but it was a suffer, everything seems to be swirling at the slightest move, I was nauseous and to make it worse I just felt like crying.

Thanks to Princess D, I got to my car safely. I learn how to trust another person with my life while crossing the busy KL street, since I had to focus my vision on one direction lest I black out in the middle of the street.

So anyways, thanks again babe... :) coffee on me!

~*this is major... to quote da Posh...

2008-04-17T14:00:00.002+08:00

I stand corrected. Definitely not seeing the Suresh tonight. The buzz in one ear has spread to the other and I am extremely dizzy now. I am worried how I am going to make it to my car. Wish me luck...

~*hear no evil...

2008-04-17T11:18:00.001+08:00

Had a bout of allergic rhinitis (ENT type allergy ler…) last week. Went to the doctor’s, took some antibiotics and started on the spray again.
The nose has been pretty ok since, but guess what; the ears are acting up now.

It itches, it hurts (my ears are clean, ok.) and I can’t really be scratching them cos the skin in your ears are real delicate. Good thing is that the itch comes and goes intermittently (dunno what other word to use :p), but when it itches… IT ITCHES!

Seriously driving me mad… I know I am already almost there but gawd… it really is kinda horrible this itch thing, and to make it worse, there’s also some kind of stabby pain in the ears along with the itch right now. Scary. Must go to the doc’s again tomorrow, tonight, we have our beloved class with the Suresh. Damn.

~*the month after...

2008-04-15T12:52:00.012+08:00

Whoa… time flies. Its been almost a month since I last updated, and was all bitchy and stuff. Well, I promise the bitchy level has drop to a significant low after the wedding (not mine, just in case…). Had quite a good time there. The chalets were grand. Me likey a lot. The wedding guests were made up of about 80% Irish, 1 Dutch, 1 American, a couple of Aussies who are not of Irish descend, and a handful of us Asian folks. We were the minority in our own country. At the end the 5 days, the sisters and I agreed that we’ve just had a dose of mat Salleh overload :p haha, and has definitely hit our "small talks with strangers" quota for the entire... year(???). We talked and we entertained, and pushed our normally “not so friendly with strangers” self and talked somemore. Man, were we exhausted by the end of it all. No, I am not racist. I would love to breed gorgeous little Eurasian kids, given a chance. So, yea...hehe...

From that trip, we’ve learnt that Irish are very nice people, that the mat sallehs loves talking, and they can talk the whole day and night, everyday. They can also drink the whole day and night, everyday. They also love showering those around them with multitude of praises, flattery,and more praises. You cannot pass by any of them without getting an *Oh, you look gorgeous/lovely…. etc. etc. * , which was REALLY nice of course (haha…) but after a while, being the cynical Asians that we are, the novelty of being told how “gorgeous/lovely” you look sure starts to wear off. It’s like Ok, I am gorgeous, I know, no need to keep saying it, enough already! (hahahahaha…. hahahaha….. hahahhahahha….) Actually, it was more like "Really? Me gorgeous? Really? Liars...." ... yea.

I wonder if that’s just what they say to people. It’s like, instead of a “How are you” following a “Hello”, maybe they've been programmed to say things like “Hello, you look gorgeous” instead? :p I said the bitchy level has drop to a significant low, I did not say it was gone. Hehe…

Seriously though, most of them are really nice. Parents of the groom are lovely (haha) people, so are a lot of his family members. We really felt accepted and embraced – quite literally as well, especially by the parents into that clan, even if it was only for a while. It was... lovely.

Ok, I will not be talking about the less pleasant (read: psychotic) stuff. The pre/during/post mortem sessions the sisters and I had during and after the trip has been sufficient. I don’t need to bitch about those anymore :) so yea… I kinda heart Langkawi now… congrats again to da happy couple that found true love in this time and age! Haha... madame cliche!

~*imagine...

2008-03-19T11:33:00.003+08:00

My second fave little boy this year. Sigh... simply amazing... Enjoy.

I am feeling alright today. Much as I bitch and whine, as long as I get time off from work, I am A alright :) and after purging the anger/frustration accumulated from the weekend, I am now ready and looking forward to the next few days by the beach.
Blogging truly does wonders for the soul. Me at peace now...

~*oh yea, did I mention that I Heart Jason Castro?!! Anyone can find a guy like that for me ar? Ha.Ha.

~*if I fell...

2008-03-18T13:58:00.008+08:00

The video/song that never fail to put a smile on my face… almost, actually I think I melted while watching this. He may not have the best voice, but he sure has the most unique and I am sure, all his fans melted as well..

Last weekend was just plain crazy and hectic. Started on Friday night, we were actually triple booked -
1) the youth chamber concert which was supposed to be only from 6.30pm to 7.30pm, which leaves us enough time to attend the
2) KLCC tenant night’s cocktail/dinner event at the kl convention centre next door before going off to
3) Portia’s “hen night” party at 9pm.

However, the concert went on much later than scheduled, because our least fave conductor (I believe the word used was the stupid Kiev, his name :p) fitted in 18 pieces without informing earlier, and it was already about 8:30 when we finally manage to leave. The concert was still on going.

So now we had to miss the tenant’s night thingy, and rush for a good friend's hen night at 9pm, which got postponed to 9.30pm (btw, she reached even later than that) and she had the courtesy to text and let us know at 9pm itself. We were furious of course! since we had to leave our jobs early, endured some sarcastic remarks from a few people left working eventhough a lot of others actually left at 7:30pm as per the original schedule. And we also had to miss the scrumptious dinner and entertainment at KLCC, only to have her tell us it’s postponed. Her other friends came even later, but we just kept quiet, it being her party and all... :(

Really, really pissed when people have no respect for other people’s time. It’s as if you have nothing else to do but sit around at their beck and call, and your time is not as important as theirs? Hate that we had to sacrifice a whole lot to be where we didn’t even want to be in the first place, and especially for the reasons stated in the previous post. So anyways, we just suck it up and was all smiley and stuff when the whole party arrived.

It was fine at first, everyone had on the leis and the bride to be, her faux veil that I'd rushed to get the night before, and then she had to go crash her colleague’s bachelor party just across the road. What did we do there? Sit. Just sat there, and had some leftover chicken wings etc because the whole “party” that followed her there was bored to tears while she had her fun with the bachelor party’s party. (get? :p) By now 3 of the girls, has already jumped ship and left. Clever girls.

Anyways, after the party crashing, we decided to go to the Snooty Club, finally. The girl in the other car was going to send the future bride and another girl there first, since my car was quite a long walk away and we specifically told them to wait for us at the lobby there. Upon reaching, I got a call from the bride's future hubby. Apparently not very sober, telling me that it’s my responsibility to take care of his “baby”, his bride, since I am the maid of honor, that I must return her to him after the night in good condition, and I must promise him that… bla bla bla… I just said ok to him, and ended the call. For anyone who doesn’t know, it is one of my pet peeve when someone asks or says things like that. Just because someone is getting married, he/she suddenly becomes more “special” and worthy of “care” than the rest of us the “lesser” single people? Or suddenly became too retarded and dumb to take care of themselves, eventhough they are nearing 30years of age? And suddenly it is MY responsibility??? I would take care of my friend without anyone telling me to do so. It’s just what a normal human being would do, but to tell me it’s my responsibility and I have to promise you to take good care of your “baby”? So. Not. Cool.

The story did not end there. We parked our car and went up. They were not at the lobby and did not answer their phone, and to make matters worse, the bouncers will not let us in, maybe we weren’t wearing fancy clothes or whatever. And since one of the idiots standing guard said he is sure he’s seen some girl with faux veil and another girl went up earlier, we HAD to go up to look for them. They only allow one of us. So I went. I searched the whole place but can’t find them. I went back down. By this time, everyone’s panicked, and almost got into a row with the bouncer/manager/scum person. Lastly this scum person agreed to let Roomie up to look again, while being “escorted” by him. We are good people and we do not get into things like that in clubs ok. Obviously fcking pissed by now, my phone rang. The missing bride's number. The other girl called and said they went to some other bar to meet up with their respective partners cos she didn’t know what to do with the apparently very drunk bride, who by the way did NOT, I repeated DID NOT seem that drunk when we left her with the other girls.

We could not have been more pissed. Seriously. I called her hubby’s phone to confirm that she’s with him and is ok and also to yell at the muthafcker for calling me and talking those crap when his “baby” was already with him, to tell him it wasn’t funny to play with people who were genuinely concern and worried sick, but I didn’t. I just talked real loud. He would be obviously too pissed to remember that anyway. Pissheads.

Anyways, the bride called Roomie yesterday. We didn’t pick up her call during weekend though. Roomie told her about the Snooty Club incident. She seemed really sorry when she called me later, said she was really drunk and didn’t know why they didn’t call to tell us the change of venue. I told her it’s ok. There was no point in arguing. Nothing more to be said. Getting married was not an excuse to push people around to that extend. Tolerance has its limits. Just can’t wait for the whole wedding to be over. We are done entertaining people whose world revolves just around them.

No offense to happy couples getting married. I am damn happy for you guys, but just know that there are other people in this world too, and it’s not too much to ask for a little consideration.

~*she said what???

2008-03-14T13:30:00.004+08:00

As you know, we had a hen party/weekend thingy for our dear future bride friend in Langkawi a couple of weeks back, right, and then last weekend I asked her if she wanted to go out - the last girls night out before she got married. So she decided that we'll go out this Friday, I mean today. All of us thought it's just another normal night of going out, hanging out you know, and then I received a call from Sara yesterday. She said the bride had asked her out tonight. She also said that the bride told her that it's her 3rd hen party and she had to organize everything herself - while sounding pitiful/sad wtvr. If I know the bride well, it's just a tactic to get sympathy and get the person to agree to whatever she's asking for (which is usually funny to watch/hear), but - Sara lives about more than 3 hours from here.

Boy, was I pissed or was I pissed. It's fine even if she wants to have 10 hen nights leading up to her wedding, it's the things she said that is NOT fine. She "had to organize everything herself"??? We didn't even freaking know it WAS going to be ANOTHER hen night party. What was the taking her away for the weekend for then? And if she did want a hen night like the normal cliched hen nights in bars with humiliating condom veils etc she could've just said it right? We could've saved some time and a whole lot of money. Yes, she did spent quite a bit on the booze etc there, but what does she expect. We can't afford to spend as much as her, we don't have an extra income to take care of us. What we deem pricey is cheap and reasonable for her, and since it was a weekend for her, we just went wherever and do whatever she wanted to. Spending 800 in 2 days in Langkawi burnt a BIG hole in my little purse u know.

Arrr... but money is not the point. The point is this schizo-ish behaviour is getting harder for us to swallow. Maybe when you read this you might think "aww... come one it's a tiny thing", but it's not the first. There was also the night she snapped at me over something innocent that I said about some work friend, which apparently is a good friend (whom she's knew for... months?). And when I say snapped, trust me, SNAPPED! She made a "bestfriend" of few years felt damn horrible (and for nothing) over a "good friend" of a few months from work. You will be shocked and "what was that about?" would probably be the only thing on your mind if you were there. Thank God Roomie was there to witness it. The twisting of words and realities... I've always known that part but THAT was too much, way out of line, and so very the unnecessary. Seriously.

Having said that, and pissed as I was, I still went rushing after class (actually class was not even over yet) to couple of malls, just to look for party stuff - headband and netting to make a faux veil, plastic leis for the rest of the girls since hers is a beach wedding, and I also thought of getting cupcakes, but couldn't get the custom designed ones since I only found out a day before that this was going to be yet another hen night. I did think of just getting the plain ones and do the deco myself, but couldn't get those as well. I am still thinking if I should bother doing more damage to my already very dented purse to get some pretty cupcakes, at tis fancy lil cafe later. We'll see.

And having said all that, suffice to say that we, roomie and I, will slowly but surely be having a cool off period from the girl that I call my bestfriend after her wedding. It's sad, cos beneath the schizo thing, she can be a genuinely caring and generous person, but like I told Roomie, it just doesn't feel right anymore. It doesn't feel good bitching about someone you called your bestfriend. The only 2 things I've bitched about Roomie was probably just her temper and incessant whining, and she knows about it, cos I'll tell her. Sigh... ah well... what you gonna do? :)

Ok, with mega bitching session done, just want to wish fishboy (or is it prawnboy now?) and Raykz the very best of luck for their treasure hunt this weekend! Do great guys! I want to see you on tv! Hehe...

Ooh, I'll be going to one of my closest friend, Anees' wedding tomorrow. Anees was my Roomie after my now Roomie left to work in the neighboring island. :) So happy that she and her bf of 7 or 8 years finally made it do the pelamin. Congrats to Anees and Farid! May you guys have the most loving, lasting, and happy marriage!

P/S: Haha... I know I'll have to wish them in person again tomorrow cos I didn't give her the link to this site, but just wanna post it for everyone else to read... just because I am really That happy for her...

~*heights of boredom... totally pointless...

2008-03-13T12:55:00.010+08:00

If I have my way and the means, this is a list of what you can always find in my fridge, my giant fantasy fridge:-

1) New York Cheesecake from Secret Recipe
2) Light Coke
3) Wine coolers
4) Wine
5) Cheese - Haloumi, cheddar, babybels, ooh... Happy cow party cube/triangles are a MUST! Sorry Pimpy, tried Laughing cow but Happy cow still tiumphs! Haha... these cheese makers ran out of ideas for names??
6) Vege - lots of vege
7) Smoked salmon
8) French salad dressing
9) Chunks of prime cut steaks
10) Very pretty cupcakes
11) White truffles
12) Chocolates - all kinds
13) Dragon fruit + melon juice
14) Packet Milo
15) Fruit Yogurt
16) Apples
17) Cherry tomatoes
18) Nougat
19) Milk - the giant plastic container ones
20) Soy milk
21) Eggs - lots of eggs
22) Ice - lots of ice
23) Hasbrown
24) Bacon
25) Cesar salad dressing
26) Whole Chicken - I fantasized about roasting a chicken, go figure :p
27) Peanut butter
28) Butter
29) Sausages of all kinds
30) Frozen pratas
31) Frozen sweet dumpling
32) Mandarin oranges
33) Nutella
34) Herbs of all kind
35) Mille crepes
36) Mash potato + chicken chop from Food foundry - yumms...
37) Potatoes
38) Fish fingers
39) Iced coffee
40) Cherries
41) Burger patties
42) Lamb cuts/chops for making stew or feeding the housemate :D
43) Ham
44) Ice cream - I can't decide what flavors though... hmm...
45) Pies - sheperd, steak, chicken, mushroom... etc etc...
46) Left over chicken/mutton curry all thick and yummy!
47) Very fresh salmon cuts
48) Wasabe
49) Japanese sweet soy sauce
50) "Fat free" mayonnaise
51) Dark Pomfret - hehe... odd one out but so yums, pan fried and served with just a bit of light soy sauce... yumms! :)

Ok, I've run out of things to fill my fantasy fridge with, for now. And yes, I am that bored. The fantasy fridge thing popped into my head last night while I was having left over super yummy New York cheesecake (of cos!)
Anyways, till I reach another level of boredom... adios amigos... :p

~*what da qua...

2008-03-12T16:35:00.003+08:00

Saw boy Aqua a couple of weeks ago when we went to Langkawi for a friend's hen party. Needless to say, the food, drinks etc. etc. flowed almost like there's no tomorrow (though I did payback tomorrow, and the day after, and after... yea 4 days in bed after the weekend). Anyways, that was not my story, back to Aqua. We were at a certain bar there and lo, who walked in but Aqua. Still there after a year and a half. And sadly (hahaha) no longer the cutey he once was. He got... horizontally challenged! (Haha... how's that for being political!)

He was surprised, and I was shocked. He said hi. I said hi. He asked you here on holiday? I said yes, and asked back you still here and not grad yet? Quite loser right? (Word by word, I swear. I never said I wasn't a b*tch) He smiled. I continued, wow you got fat, well I got fatter too, but at least i got girl boobs, you got man boobs. About this time an idiot friend of his, another lil boy pop up (yea pop up, cos he just appeared out of no where) and said hi, i am with him (Aqua). I looked at him, smiled and said hi back, I WAS with him, and I turned away. That felt good. Yes, cheap tiny thrill, but good feeling it was.

A couple of hours after we went back, I got a text from him. He said he was really sorry for what happened. He said he was a bastard. I couldn't agree more. I also can't help thinking about him the rest of our time there.
Silly woman, I am.

Just in case anyone wonders, nothing happened and nothing will ever happen, and I am quite sure that will be the last that I'll ever see of lil boy Aqua.

~*blogitive...

2008-03-11T11:30:00.003+08:00

I am a blogitive. I run from blogsite to blogsite. Just a couple of months back, I took my bitching to a new blog over at www.butterpop.net after the baconshop decided to block all sites with the word blog. Now a few months later, after some whiny user make a huge complain on certain blocked sites, we are once again able to access blog sites to our hearts content. However, with reasons that doesn't quite make sense to me, my butterpop has been blocked. And needless to say, I am now back to this bitching board again. Not that I am sad about it or anything, just annoyed since I actually paid for that domain...humphh...

Last weekend has been quite a scare for the nation I guess. While everyone wants a change and to "teach" the national front a lesson, a lot were really shocked at the outcome of the election. A lot if not everyone, did not expect such a huge landslide. And I am sure a lot of people couldn't sleep last Saturday, at least not until the national front got their simple majority, otherwise, they might wake up to very different (and probably chaotic) morning here in our "beloved" homeland. Thank god. We woke up to a pretty quiet morning after.

Personally, I am not a very political person, nor am I a die hard supporter of any political party. I actually quite despise politician. Having said that however, I of course did my part and exercised my voting rights, and I can't help but be overwhelmed by a huge wave of sadness, when my home state was lost to the opposition. I would be glad, expecting even, that they only lose their 2/3 majority, but no ... they lost the state. I know I know... with the new governing body, we have renewed hopes and faith, and I am quite hopeful that despite the expected bumps that might take place during the transition period, these political parties will spend the next 4 years doing their best to convince us, the people that we should be choosing them again (or whatever) in the next election, since the people has indeed proven that they do have a strong voice here. I am just sad to see a governing body that I've known all my life went down the drains and be taken over by the opposition, that's all.

Anyways, *chink chink* to a new and improved future...

To Princess Dandesinga, will try to update as frequently as I can, ok :p

~*blossoms' moved...

2007-12-31T12:53:00.001+08:00

I am here now... www.butterpop.net

~*of fuglies and jigglies...

2007-10-16T11:18:00.001+08:00

Our client is on a holiday today and we're not, which makes this an uber boring day. Not that I mind the lack of workload, but boredom is a motha*beep*.

Woke up this morning with very swollen eyes. No idea why. Though i think the swell has gone down considerably. They feel less popped out of my face now.

The drive to work this morning was way smooth. If only the roads are like that everyday. Ooh, which reminded me, the traffic home last Friday evening, pre-Raya raya, was almost dream like. Roads normally congested to the brink after work were almost traffic free. Again, if only the traffic's like that everyday.

Speaking of roads and stuff, I was tailgated by a stupid girl in a tiny car this morning on the way to the baconshop. I hate tailgaters, and this morning with my swollen eyes and all, I decided to have a little payback.
I slowed down by the side and let the stupid girl overtake my car, and then... did what I normally would not do. I tailgated her back. All the way until a certain junction, and I think I managed to freaked her out. Yay! I know I know, it's petty and juvenile, but I like to think of it as a community service, teaching a tailgater a lesson about tailgating. I know I know, who am I or what rights do I have to "teach" others a lesson, right? Well, who are you or anyone to stop me though? I repeat, I hate tailgaters.

Moving on, how was your weekends? Mine was... boring. By now, people who knows me, or reads my craps should know that "bored/boring/boredom" are my most used words. Even when I am hella busy, I am still bored. I dunno. Sigh... "Exhibit 1 - Girl who's never satisfied". I think I would only truly be satisfied or happy if I won a million bucks or so in the lottery, which translates to I have no freaking idea if I'll ever have real happiness or be truly satisfied. Sigh...

Went to the gym after work last Friday to sweat out my depressed state. Sweat I did, half dead from the work outs even, but happy was I? Nah. So I thought why not go out and get some loud music and see if I'll feel better later aka aversion therapy you know. Since Portia's busy with her man now on weekends, looked up a new friend and found that she's hanging out at some salsa joint... with her man as well, sigh, but took up her invite to join them for a bit though. So there I was, kinda dressed up, and met up with them at the salsa joint at about 10ish (late by my standards now).

Having been living the hermit way for some time now, it took quite a while to adjust to the scene again. I sat down for a bit, checked out the surrounding, the people and just finding myself smirking, inside (it's a horrible look smirking openly, you know). As I looked around, I found that... nothing's changed. There's still the very scantily clad ladies looking as though they owned the place walking around throwing air kisses with other equally in-looking people, the fugly good dancer guys getting nonstop attention from girls wanting to be swirled and twirled (I am convince that guys should take AND master the latin dances IF they wanna score with the ladies... or at least get some touchy feely actions albeit on the dance floor, if ya know what I mean). Then there are the not so erm... what word should I use, the not so outstanding(?), outpopping(??) girls who'll only get to dance with the people they came with and if they came with only girls, chances are these girls will usually go home without getting a dance... or well maybe if they pluck up their courage to ask one of the fugly guys for a dance, then maybe they'll get one and that's it... well ok ok, if they are damn courageous and kept asking fuglies for dances, yea sure they'll get more, but not sien meh have to keep asking??

Me, I think I fall into the only getting to dance with the people you came with unless I ask a fugly category, but it was quite fun nonetheless eventhough I haven't exactly salsa-ed in about... 6 or 7 years? Anyways, started off looking like a klutz on the floor, but after a few songs, I must've looked like I knew what I was doing, cos my new friend actually said I still got the skills. Hmm... ah well.
Went home around 12ish. It's really early by clubbing standard but... like i said in the last blab, me old, me get beat real early now you know.

Anyways, the part time work thing's starting off again tonight. Sigh... neither glad nor... un-glad... I dunno...

~*It's the Raya raya...

2007-10-12T16:41:00.000+08:00

All alone in my cube now. Teammates have all gone either on leave or being shooed away - in the case of the fishboy :P, to go home in preparation to celebrate the Hari Raya tomorrow. Long weekend for the rest of us. I think I am the only one neither excited nor thrilled for the break. Not that I mind the break though, just that I haven't any plans and not in the mood for anything. I have no idea why. Hmmm...

Jlo was suggesting - strongly, that we go back into our outgoing routine from a few years back, which was to go out thumpa thumpa-ing (quote from queer as folk!) 4 to 5 times a week. Her logic was that we were at our slenderest (haha) during that time, either due to lack of sleep or excessive freestyle workout (thumpa-thumpa). She kinda has a point there, but she also kinda forgotten that we were quite a bit younger then? We use to be able to go out maybe Tuesday or Wednesday onwards, going home at wee hours, catch a couple of hours of sleep and then off to work, And on time I might add, and repeat the cycle until… well.. it goes on and on, until we fall sick, and get a week of rest and continue on again. Don't bother asking why we do it, cos I dunno why either.

We use to joke that we worked even harder on weekends than during weekdays - during which I’ll sometimes get less than 6 hours worth of sleep, accumulated within 3 days. Yea, those were the days. Decadent times which I cannot and will not go back to. My take is that I’ve already had my share of that kind of fun/heartaches/follies then, time to move on to other things. Time for different sets of priorities. Time to actually grow up. And besides, a thumpa-thumpa session (eventhough it only last till 1am nowadays, IF we ever go out) really takes a toll on a 30 year old’s body, you know. Real ouch effect the day after.

Hmm… I was planning to write about my recent road trip to the east but somehow ended up blabbing a whole load on the above. So anyways, about road trip, well, it was nice. The hotel was cozy and comfy and gorgeous, and we love it. Our tour guide Mr Pimpy was so gracious and so kind in taking us out for an awesome seafood dinner, to the Mc D village (it’s really like a village, I kid you not) where it was cute at first with kids celebrating some other kid’s birthday, but became a little much to bear from the noise made by the same bunch of kids.

Pimpy also took us for a hike up some hill to catch the sunrise. I found out about altitude sickness firsthand, but enjoyed almost every bit of that misty morning. And then there was the clean, soft, white sandy beach in front of the hotel, with hardly anyone around – due to us being there on weekdays, I guess. It was really lovely to catch a nap or just lay on the beach chairs, feeling the breeze and just soaking it all up. That is the life, my friends.

Onto another note, the bonus and all came this week. Settled a fair bit of affairs that needed settling, and looking forward to seeing the new figure in the pay slip come next month. It’s about time. Haven’t bothered opening them for the longest time, and can’t wait to tear open the coming one.
It’s not much but it’s alright… so wee heeee…

Gotta go tear up the gym again later. Need to get a pair of gym pants first. Lil old me forgot to put them in my bag this morning. Anyways, till I blab again, Selamat Hari Raya people!

~*It's a girl!

2007-10-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

Welcome baby cousin! The newest addition to the clan and my uncle's firstborn! Sweet!!
May my lil cousin's life be filled with all the love and the blessings in the world!! Muaks!

~*sting lika beee.....

2007-10-05T14:57:00.000+08:00

I boxed. I boxed! And I kicked! I boxed and kicked! And it was hella fun!
Whole body sore and aching but well worth it! So looking forward to more! Yay!

Road trip this Sunday. Journey to the east. Just the two of us roomie and I, but will be meeting up with da Pimp, our gracious host and tour guide there. Hopefully it will be one major R&R trip... climbing some hill to watch the sunrise, cam whoring with baby turtles, and basically just chill by the beach, taking in all that South China Sea has to offer.

On an unrelated note, almost done with Potter book 6 now. Can't wait to finish, but at the same time not wanting to finish it especially since roomie hasn't got the final book yet. Not really feasible for me to get it though since all the Potter books lying in our place are hers. Sigh...

Dear Blog....

2007-10-02T17:11:00.001+08:00

Sorry I haven’t spent more time with you lately. I’ve been lazy, and experiencing some kind of mental block I guess... probably leaning more towards lazy though.

Anyways, a little update on my on goings the last couple of weeks.
Let’s see, 2 weekends ago… I was back at the parents’ place after catching Knocked Up on that Friday night. Dunno if it was because the cinema was that cold and I had to start holding my pee after an hour into the movie, thus making it seem much longer or if the movie WAS actually that draggy.

I left the cinema with a headache. A sugary treat was in order, I thought and I soon found myself driving towards a little wonderland called Bisou - RM 5 for a little cupcake but well worth the magic it did. Head was still achy, but it did take a bit of the gloom off the long way back to the parents'.
The rest of the weekend was spent baking cupcakes and sulking.

Last week was pretty uneventful too. Due to fck ups with the gym membership people, I’ve only managed to go gym once on last Thursday with the Roomie. The gym was small, but quite nice - personable and not intimidating like the one in the towers. We even tried out the boxing class.
It was hilarious. Roomie boxes like a girl. Being a girl is not an excuse.
If you’ve known her, then you’ll know what I mean.

Come Friday, I was really tempted to meet up with a new girl friend for some salsa, but didn’t. Gym got the better of my body, plus it was that inconvenient time of the month. Another blasé Friday night it was.

I was at the parents’ again for the weekend for some family gathering. Saturday was spent in the kitchen making more cupcakes.
This batch got unanimous approvals from the “trusted” testers.
Phew. G.l.a.d. They even said I can start my world cupcake domination now...
Not really, but yea passed the QC to sell. Again G.l.a.d.

There you have it blog, that was how my last 2 weeks went by.
Dull? Yup. Blasé? Pretty much. Got me thinking, could my lack of time spent with you actually be due to me not really having much of a life at the moment and not just the laziness and mental thing?
You be the judge.

Coming soon ~ Bikini bod under construction...

2007-09-13T16:46:00.000+08:00

Geez... how time flies. Didn't seem that long since my last piece of 'work' on mechanic bashing. 3 weeks hiatus is not that long is it? Anyways, I've been kindly pestered by some dandelions across my cube to update my blog the last couple of days, and I thought alright, might as well do it now and be pester free for the next... 3 weeks?

The last couple of weeks has been tight, with 2 or 3 (last week was 4!)concerts a week. Yea, that's my part time thingy with the MPO. Fast forward to last week, I was ecstatic to get to see the concerts that I really wanted to see performing at the MPO - one by some Latin Jazz musician and another feat. a Korean soprano. I also got a once in a lifetime opportunity to witness how the lobby between the towers being transformed into a gorgeous club-ish setting (just like watching Party Planner live), for some posh architectural award event thing, AND manage to score some kick ass (only a lot of money can buy :p haha) suite seats for ma friend and his hot wife (according to girl next room) for the soprano concert.
Was real glad that they managed to have a good time with all the drama happening pre-show. So appreciative that they insisted on buying me dinner! Sweet. :p

Based on the above, I've already counted myself lucky and that the week was a pretty good one, but lo. And then there was the MATTA fair last weekend. Went with girl next room to scout for Europe packages and get some estimates on our budget for the trip next year. As we were walking leisurely past the many MANY travel booths, some guy came up, yelled "come spin the wheel and win some vacation packages!" So spin the wheel we did. Girl next room spin first and got a night stay at a local resort. As i was about to touch the wheel, the people surrounding the wheel said that only one can spin "The Wheel" (ooohhh...) so, of course I protested, a bit, and said how come I don't get to spin it? I guess it was still quite early in the day and their tolerance level was still quite up there, they let me spin "The Wheel" with the condition that only one prize will be given for both of us. It didn't matter, I didn't really care, I just wanted to spin that damn thing. And so with one mighty flick of my hand, spun it did "The Wheel".
I was prepared to walk off after flicking, but guess where the bugger stopped? 8 days 7 nights Gold Coast, baby!!!

Ok, I wasn't that excited at that point of time, still trying to figure out if it was a hoax. Apparently it Wasn't a hoax (after half hour of listening to the guy explain about the deal). So yippee for now. One extra burden to get the flight tickets to go to a continent that wasn't even in our scope of travel.
Anyways, just as the excitement of going to Oz and meeting up with some old friend there started building up, I was led once again by this girl who kept saying she'll give me a holiday package if I'll listen to her yak for half hour. Ok by now I've become a freebies ho, so there i sat waiting for my free voucher, and thanks to that, we now have a road trip coming up on the 7th of next month to a lovely beachside resort on the other coast for a couple of nights. Nice right? But I will not say that I got real lucky at the fair, for now... actually until I've ACTUALLY gotten my free stays, which will be...well, the first one's coming up in less than a month. We'll see.

Ooh, forgot to mention that I've sent in some sob story to a local radio station for their section where they try to "fix" people's problem AND got myself a 6months free gym membership thingy. So I guess no more excuses not to work out on rainy days huh!
Woo hooooooo..... Look out beaches!!!

~*there's a vip lounge in Hell for mechanics!

2007-08-24T11:42:00.000+08:00

If anyone reading this, somehow, has a close mechanic friend or relative, I hope they are decent enough human beings, to not need to go to that special place reserved for them down there. That is how much I HATE them! And if you ARE a mechanic and is offended, well, why should you be if you're not one of them bad ones?

Needless to say, IT has been a tremendously lousy week. Firstly, one of the parents had to go through an angioplasty, and due to that, there were the endless traveling from the parents place to the hospital to the baconshop (all NOT remotely nearby from one to another), and having to repeat the cycle a few times a day for a couple of days has not made me the perkiest. Good thing is that, thankfully the procedure went smoothly and he's well on recovery. Another tiny ounce of goodness were the concerts. There were 2 this week, that's almost a hundred bucks for 4 hours of work(?).

But as always, when things are looking slightly better, bad things tend to feel a teensy bit left out and HAD to come by and say their big fat ugly Mthrfckin hello and today's "hello" has just cost me about 600 mthrfckin bucks! It all started with a burst tyre, which was only about 100plus, but then, after further "evaluation" on the car, I somehow ended up with a bill close to 600 mthrfckin bucks!! And the fcker who's fixing my car just called to tell me that this "other" part needs work on it as well and that's another extra 300bucks. To that I said sod off, and just leave that alone. I don't care how dangerous it may be, I'll take my chances and get a 2nd opinion. Tqvm and damned the fckr, in my head of course! I'll damn him aloud after getting my car back.

~*pea nuts...

2007-08-20T15:56:00.000+08:00

I believe I may have one of the best, if not the easiest part time jobs ever. We have a briefing session before every concert to get our duty location - all around the perimeter of the concert hall, the program timing and other apparently important stuff (most of which unfortunately flew past my ears as soon as they were spoken). After the brief briefing session, we'll all go to our designated sections, waiting to usher in the guests, making sure they are seated properly and well behaved (haha), and shut the door as the concert began, and reopened them during interval, and also after the show of course.

And what do we do during the concert itself? Well, if you assign for duty inside the hall itself then you get to plonk your arse down with the guests and enjoy the concert with them. If you are assigned duty outside the hall, then you can either have a bull session with your fellow part timers, read a book, space out, ogle at cute passerby, when you're in uniform, you have the license to be extra friendly and people will think that you're just doing your job, not noticing that you only greet the cute ones. Haha.

When the concert's over there's a short de-briefing session and that's it for the day, all done in under 4hours.
Now, tell me it is not one of the one of the best, if not the easiest part time jobs ever. Ok, IF you can actually tell me about easier job than this, then you should also tell me how to get those jobs ok :p

~*Strings, strings and mo strings....

2007-08-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

String instruments that is. Will be starting the part time thing with Philharmonic tonight. I can appreciate the classical but REALLY pray that I won't fall asleep though. Tired la. Things we do for extra dough. Sigh.

Some user that I spoke to yesterday asked if there's vacancy at the baconshop, for her daughter. I wanted to tell her, WHY on earth do you wanna get your daughter into the baconshop??? I didn't of course, after all she's with our client, and I'm just soooooo polite and agreeing like that you know. Anyways, she asked if baconshop pays alot, and I being the modest one that I am of course said, no la. Then she proceeded to ask if my bring home peanuts was about this certain amount and also where I got my highly prestigious education - the cheapest local college around.
And once again, my agreeing self told her the name of my alma mater and said yea to the latter question. And this is where she launched a full on assault on the baconshop about how they rejected her daughter's application a few years back eventhough her daughter graduated from one of the most well known colleges around, to which I agreed of course, being my polite, agreeing self. AND then the dumb bitch went on to say this "I don't know how they hire people in the baconshop, a grad from your (humble) college can get in and earns that much but they rejected my daughter who graduated from The Posh College??? And she's earning so much lesser than what baconshop's paying you".

I know, I should probably have said to her face that poshness of a college does not a brain maketh... but alas, my polite, agreeing self just said, in my sweetest fake voice possible "yea, I really don't know why. Should ask you daughter to try again ya. Buhbye."

No need for further conversation with such idiots. Though I would have loved to tell her that my peanuts was actually way more than what she thought it was, but I am way too modest and polite like that you know :p

*~Of fairies and nymphs...

2007-08-10T15:09:00.000+08:00

The annual Ad Ball’s theme this year is going to be Masquerade. Saw it in the papers today. The article came with the pic of a couple (well, I don’t know if they ARE a couple, but there’s a man and a woman…. anyways...) holding some very nice looking venetian masks. I like.

I’ve always had a fascination with the Venetian masquerade balls. The costumes are splendidly elaborate, the masks exquisite, and the settings… gorgeous. Yea, I like these stuff a lot. The idea of hiding behind a mask, getting into character and be someone else for just one night can be so… (for the lack of a better word) Hot! I like.

Not in the pink of health today. Nose was itching and throat felt scratchy the entire night. Took some flu med before coming to work this morning. Good thing the medicine only kicked off a while after reaching the baconshop. I must’ve passed out for about 15 mins(?). However, despite the meds, it got worse throughout the day esp. after lunch. Feels like an infection. Feeling pretty sick now. Still a couple more hours to go.
Damn. I don’t like!

~*heights of boredom and randomness...

2007-08-09T15:42:00.000+08:00

It's official. I've just reached a new height of boredom at the baconshop.
No joke. It has been a quiet week so far but today takes the cake.
Let’s see, after attending to a couple of user problems this morning, a good chunk of the rest of the hours before lunch has been spent reading non-enlightening blogs by bitchy Singaporean bloggers taking a piss at each other. It was quite entertaining at first, but after an hour or so, I felt as if life’s been drained out of me, leaving me an empty, soulless plastic figurine staring at my huge ass screen, and I found myself wondering WTF am I doing and quickly switch to something less… meaningless.
Yea, drama-fied, but I am bored. Let it go.

I’ve lost a kg this week, after a few jogs and weight sessions.
Did the weight thing with dumbbells AND fitness magazines at home.
Can’t be arsed to get into the highly commercialized world of fitness studios/gym… bunnyshop! Yea, I think I’ll call them bunnyshop from now on - eventhough there’s one, no… two actually, just downstairs from the baconshop. Can’t stand watching twinkies in tighties (hahah … yea, sounds stupid, just some self entertainment la… let it go, k) strutting around the bunnyshop, looking all perfect and stuff. You can hardly sense the tiniest tinge of envy, can you? :p Anyways, I dunno… bunnyshops nowadays just feels more like a meat markets, you know. I admit that I would actually rather run on a treadmill in front of the tele, than do the hilly tracks around my humble home, but nah… not stepping into bunnyshops until I reach them twinkies in tighties figure. Yea, stupid, I know.

We’re in the midst of planning a Halloween masquerade. Not a big one, just the people from the Christmas party and some of their new partners. We’re already thinking of the costumes and deco. Venue is most likely in an apartment suite in one of the hotels around here. We already have people planning to come as cheerleader, we have a skeleton man, a dark angel and a Chinese female ghost. Hope everyone will come as different characters. Me, I am thinking vampire. I just happen to have a very romantic outlook on vampires. It's a fantasy alright, albeit a twisted one.
I just find the fangs sexy. Think Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned!
One word/sound/whatever: Awww…
Yea… vampire it is.

*~missing you...

2007-08-08T09:04:00.000+08:00

Dear Burger,

Can you please tell me,
if I am Missing you
Just because there's none to miss?
Thinking of you
Just because there's none to think about?
Calling out your name
Just because there's no other name i could think off?
Or have you placed a charm,
on my wretched wretched mind?
Maybe I was just bored... ahhh...
Wretched, wretched... wretched mind.

~*New moon...

2007-08-03T16:29:00.000+08:00

So it's August already, just a thought that popped into my head (with the help of my cube calender staring at me from its high resting place, the cpu). Got me thinking, what have we all done so far? What have I done so far? And I thought why not just do a check on my "sort of" resolutions for 2007, and see how I fared, so far.

Hmm...let's see, there's the celibacy thing (checked!), the weight loss thing (er... not checked... yet!), the read more books this year thing (checked!... I am onto my 4th :p potter book and I am so loving it! Tqvm!!!), the exercise thing (checked! I can now jog for 3km nonstop, on hilly tracks! Would've love to jog more frequently though, but still woo hoo!) and the increase my savings thing (erm... a tiny, tiny... tiny check? Better than none , right??).

I can't think of any other resolutions from when the year began... but one that came up a couple of months back was to get a new car by year end... God willing that will be checked! the next time I decided to check on my resolution progress again. Fingers crossed.

*~Exercise caution when reading: Woman in hissy fit down below... for make sense, my friends, it may not...

2007-07-26T16:51:00.000+08:00

I just had an epiphany. Ok, it’s not like something that I’ve just found out, but today, is the day I'm finally done with it. Enough of taking/giving these kinds of chances, in the name of NOT being picky. After a bout of bad, bad luck with guys from my own ethnic group, I've decided that I am done with Chinese guys. I am sorry if there are any Chinese boys reading this beside my dear Pimpy friend. You guys can be real good friends of mine, and great boyfriends to loads of other chicks, but not mine.

Having a westernized lifestyle, speaking in accents (fake or otherwise), came back from spending some time abroad, supposedly open-minded about sex - which turns out, as I’ve discovered very recently, can be confused with just being another pervert/horndog or whatever you may call it – is NOT the same as having a westernized mentality. I am NOT in anyway glorifying the westernized mentality, merely stating what the soon to be ex BF said about his lifestyle etc. when i said that he is a chinese boy with a chinese mentality in my answer to his "What do you think of me?" question. And, that i do not comply well with my very own ethnic group's general mentality and expectations.

Also, asking me what I am wearing or am I good in bed, telling me how badly you want me and all equally disturbing texts, just a couple of days into our “relationship” via phone (yes we met online, been friends for a couple of months, he owns a record shop near my workplace but yes, no excuse - I am that dumb) – AND trying to convince me afterwards that you were just trying to “sweet talk” me with those stuff, and that you only talk like that to the person you “love”(??? Like Seriously?) will not, I assure you, get you anywhere near to what I am wearing. I really don't know which is worse - him really convinced that his dirty, looking for booty calls type of messages are "innocent sweet nothings", or that if he really is that big of a perv.

I know... I know, pervs are pervs ARE pervs regardless of ethnicity, but this is not about what a perv my very soon to be ex “bf” is, it is about how I will not, if I can help it, date another Chinese guy, ever.
I know... I know, never say never, but of all that I’ve met/dated, it saddens me a great deal that none has proven my perceptions otherwise.

I am going to have one hell of a tough night tonight, folks. I've come to a conclusion, after a lot of deliberation and rationalizing, which was actually made easy, thanks to a phone call from him this afternoon, I’ve decided to not prolong this anymore. Hate doing this. It’s like cutting a lifeline and having to bear with the what ifs afterwards, but I know that this is the right thing to do. What else is there if you don’t fit mentally? Or more accurately getting increasingly disgusted by the day.
I am so, not the happiest girl right now.

*~yak, yak... yak?

2007-07-19T13:49:00.000+08:00

I've just bumped into a "ridiculously" chatty stranger on my way up from lunch. Ridiculous in a good way, I guess. I now know about his weight loss and weight gain history in the past year in less than a minute's elevator ride?! The type of confidence (and a fair amount of *into oneselfness*, I am sure) that these people have never ceases to amaze me. Really. If only I am half as convinced about myself as them, my head would probably be a much happier place, I think... ooh, by the way, he is kinda cute too... ah well...

*~Friday the 13th...

2007-07-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

So, I’ve just turned three O, in Cambodia, near the enchanting Angkor temples, no less. That alone would’ve made it an extra “special” birthday, people may say, but the truth is, the day came and went hardly memorable. Don’t get me wrong. I am with some of my best friends in the world. They did go a little out of the way (to get me my delicious “zen” like mousse/cake with a candle on top for me to make my wishes), but these aren’t exactly the party planner type people who knows how to make your day, one to be remembered. I know, I sound like I am complaining… a whiny unappreciative b@#$ more like it. But I am not, really. I guess I was just expecting more out of that Friday the 13th that was my birthday, and not as uneventful as it was. Ah well...

Alright, moving on to the more eventful happenings just the week before that; planned and executed a bbq party at the parents’ – washed, chopped, marinated and baked the whole day, and at some point wondering why on earth did I put myself through that exhausting, financially depleting do, which of course paid off when people were well fed and seem to be having a good time later that night, and also when I opened one present with a huge ass backpack in it courtesy of jLo’s man.

Another eventful happening at work the day before the vacation, was when a chocolate cake appeared suddenly, out of no where, in my face with candles awaiting for my… blow (“?”) It was pretty special and very sweet of you guys, to say the least. Thank you, again.

So yep, that was how I “celebrated” the dreaded three O. Hurrah…?

~*more than meets the eyeeeeeeee......

2007-07-02T12:40:00.000+08:00

I am mentally exhausted. Mentally exhausted from over thinking about the barbecue party this coming Saturday with the family and a few close friends sans Pimpy. Been thinking a lot about the menu, what I am planning to serve, what I'll be baking as party favors etc. I am tired.

I've also been thinking about jlo's wedding. They are the most indecisive and unexcited newly engaged couple you'll ever meet, making any plannings all the more difficult than supposed to be. It is frustrating when it seems that the bridesmaid are more excited to plan for a wedding than the bride herself. Not so fun. The latest "twang" to the wedding plan was to have it in a a huge mansion as opposed to the beach wedding ideas, due to logistics problem and all, and apparently we, the bridesmaids, will be doing the floral arrangements and in decorating the mansion for the wedding, since that's one of our spare time biz - regardless of whether we've done it before or not :p.
Of course we're thrilled, but knowing the couple, we'll just have to wait till a couple of months just before the wedding day.

~*sweets anyone?

2007-06-05T00:41:00.000+08:00

So, I've been on a hiatus of some sort. Pimpy and Ms T reminded me a couple of times when they drop by to hang out last weekend so I thought it may be time to get out of my blog rut for a bit, whether or not I have much to say actually :p

What's been going on the in the month of May? Let's see, there was the monthly karaoke session 2 weeks back, but I am kinda getting bored of it now. My voice can be so inconsistent, I could be pretty alright one month and sucks big time the next month. Last month's was basically a screaming session - they had the original Linkin Park karaoke... who would've thought??? I am sure the people in other rooms suffered a little bit. In my defense, I were just trying to cover their endless dangduts/shrieking - which were really no walk in the park for my ears, you know.

Unfortunately, there were a few glitches during the karaoke sessions that caused "major" disturbance(in the force... haha - ya ya... I am such a geek!). The machine thing hung a few times, and we had to re-choose the song list umpteenth times, which caused major irritation to the roomies. Who were so pissed that they HAD to do "things" to blow off the steam, apparently. So we decided drive up to the "city of entertainment" at about half past 10, just for the heck of it.
We hung around, almost caught a way-past midnight movie, but tickets were sold out, didn't go into the casinos 'cos we were not looking forward to part with more money that night, so... chill in the park admist the cool cool air, we did. That was quite nice. Maybe we can do that next time you come down here eh, Pimpy? T?

Then there were endless hours in my parents kitchen, baking. Made scones, muffins and cookies. had to give my beloved cupcakes a rest for now. Reason? The stuff needed to make perfect cupcakes the way I wanted them to be are pretty expensive and I can't really afford them right now. On a positive note, my scones kicked ass and my first batch of gingerbread cookies were not too shabby. Muffin's just edible :p need more practice.

Think I am done with this for now. Will update last weekend's happenings later... god willing :D

~* them Good Charlotte in KL ...

2007-04-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

ooh... I am posting in bed... a luxury I seldom have.
I made banana cupcakes today! I know how to use the oven mode on the microwave today!
Yay me!
You would not believe the effort and time spent, NOT on the process of making & baking, but SHOPPING for tray linings!!! I went all over around the area nearby parents' for hours, and still did not manage to find the right sized tray lining for my cupcakes. Had to finally settle for the mini ones. Good thing the cakes turn out not bad for a sophomore effort.
That I can be quite proud of. Parents actually liked it :D hehe...
The decorating however, needs more work/practise. Need to go get the proper piping tools and colors. Can't wait to make some Nightmare before Christmas cupcakes - black colored topping with white drawings should look cool! Hopefully can make those for Small Lan's birthday next week...woo hoo...

Unrelated story - Pimpy's off to Macau today. Can't wait for my own trip. Just got to wait a couple of months more.

Hmm... time really flies, eh - it's already the 5th month of the year.. well, tomorrow... you know what I mean...

~*bad day...

2007-04-24T10:35:00.000+08:00

I am in an extremely bad mood. You would not want to mess with me today, like seriously. I have no idea why. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or what, I dunno. I am just pissy!

Started of with feeling really depressed, and after a stupid stupid conversation with the call center staff of some stupid local bank here, I am now just pissy.

I work in customer support. I was in the call center before, and I am usually nice to the call center staffs, but today I snap! I believe there was mention of why was she disagreeing with me since I am her bank's customer... or somewhere along the line.
Yea, I was not in the mood for lame excuses for not even trying to assist me on my queries.

Pissed pissed pissed! Not at the bitch, but at the way I am feeling right now...
Post menstrual stress perhaps?

I am just gonna go stare at my Good Charlotte pics...

~*Good Charlotte...

2007-04-23T17:11:00.000+08:00

If I die today, I would probably be alright with it. I've seen just my second favorite band in the world (yea yea, I can be that shallow sometimes, so sue me.)

The bands that I really REALLY wanted to see were Linkin Park and Good Charlotte. Saw LP a couple of years back... that was AWESOME, and finally saw Good Charlotte last Saturday night!!!
It was A.W.E.S.O.M.E And we got upgraded to VIP section!!!
I can see their faces and billy prancing on stage clearly.
What more could a girl ask for??? Well... ok, taking billy home would be the ultimate bomb, but I ain't greedy :p

Anyways, I am just thrilled that my concerts wish list has all been fulfilled now! (fat chance of Switchfoot ever coming here, so... yea...complete!)

Will upload some vids of the concert later, but for now some pics of the guys here, I posted 2 since I can't decide which of Billy's pics look more enticing...
Love love love that boy...

~*bye bye baby...

2007-04-20T16:12:00.000+08:00

It IS time for you to go and you should, actually... but, that doesn't mean we won't be missing you...

~*I wanna be a rockstar... I guess...

2007-04-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

Ok, this is what I actually wanted to write about.
So, we were at this bar last Friday night, the ol folk's playground place. There was this band playing. A foreign band. The lead, some foreign dude with a hot, hot physique (wanted to put "bod" but sounds porn-ish, doesn't it?). The girls were just all over him, the girls who were with me included.

I can't stop looking, well more like staring, which brings us to another problem I have, i stare. I am a starer. Sometimes... well, most of the time actually, I don't even realize I am doing it, and frequently freak people out with my "innocent" staring.

Oh, pardon the deviation. Anyways, as I was staring... I mean saying, I sure was staring at the bloke, NOT because of his hot physique or anything, but because he reminds me a lot of someone I've dated a couple of years back, who was also a lead in another band. Met him after a nite out in town, when he came and chat me up on my way to get my ride.

Made me reminisce, of course. And then I look at the girls there that night, fawning over him, and I thought to myself... been there, done that sistas. And it sure wasn't all a bed of roses, despite the g.l.a.m.o.r.o.u.s. front.
It WAS really just a front.

Sure, guys in bands are appealing. The fact that they are in a band automatically increases their level of hotness, and it's also very seducing to suddenly find yourself belonging to a "cool" group, sitting at the best seats at clubs, reveling in dagger stares from chicks who were not very glad that it was you and not them who get to chummy up with him. But then, there's also the player factor, the "we're together but you're not my girl yet" factor, the "I have feelings for you but can't commit to a serious relationship right now because I love my job so much and it's taking me all over the world and you might not get to see me a few months at a time, but you can wait for me" factor, the "staying up till wee hours if you wanna hang out since his work hours are the opposite of yours" factor... AND sadly but true, the "they aren't always the brightest bulbs around" factor. Seriously.

So, yea, I missed the "exciting" times, I missed being amongst the "in" crowd, and as I sat staring, I realized that I've missed the person most,regardless. We've shared quite a bit together, but I know that I can't go back there again, to being the girlfriend but not quite person to anyone ever again.
Sigh... I am getting old.

~*mooonday....

2007-04-16T16:32:00.001+08:00

How was your weekends folks? I had a... alright just an ok one.
Went bar hopping Friday night to some poser joints near the baconshop as mentioned previously. A little recap...

The 1st one was cool and swanky (?), all done up in white with a patio bar, and there's a belly dancer making rounds about every 15 minutes, gyrating what her momma gave her, oh, who also happens to be a belly dancing instructor whose class I've attended once and enjoyed tremendously. Anyways the crowd was, as poser-ish as expected, and due to lack of standing spots we were seated at a table which was way huge, if you weren't filling it up with food, which makes conversation a yelling match and we left after one drink. Weren't feeling the vibe, esp. since it wasn't our kind of music, and we were just not very good in posing. Oh, and the name of the place goes something like some number eating another number :p

The 2nd bar was way up in the sky, and aptly named just that. The place was pretty nice looking as well, with tables and seatings lined up on both sides of a swimming pool and a gorgeous view of the city and the baconshop! :D A little quieter than the former, more relaxing, and a good placoure if you wanna just sit back and chill. But, we were looking forward to shake what momma gave us, so, we were also out of there after one drink.

The 3rd and final one, looked like a playground for rich old folks as the Lans put it. But it was the most fun we've had all night. And I've just realized that this was not what i originally intend to write about today... bugger.
I am no review blogger, I am a whiny blogger... eesh... way out of my elements here. What I really wanted to write about last Friday was the emo aspects of the night not the locales.
Anyways, I'll leave this as it is... cheers.

~*t.g.i.f...

2007-04-13T14:18:00.000+08:00

It’s finally a Friday. I woke up with a massive migraine this morning.
8 painkillers, a visit to the doctor’s and a capillary relaxant pill thing later, I am ok now. What’s a little pain in the head, right?

Anyways, we’re supposed to hang out at one of the posh poser joint tonight. Haven’t been out clubbing for a while now… maybe a month?
I don’t remember, but anyways, haven’t played dress up in a long time and I am a bit stressed out now.
Yea…I am such a girl, aren't I?

~*Idol fever... kinda

2007-04-12T16:46:00.000+08:00

Ok, let’s talk about the latest season of the American Idol. A lot of the finalist sucked pretty bad, but I’m still a big fan, and it’s not like I have lots to do after work.

Before I go on, may I say, THANK god that Gina girl is out. Urgh… can’t stand her. The only time I’ve enjoyed her performance was the week before she got axed. So, buhbye ya fake rocker chick, you sure got a lot to learn from those rocker chicks from Rockstar!

Anyways, last night’s show was, well, let’s just say was pretty consistent with this season’s performances so far. Although a couple of them were, kinda impressive.
A little recap, based on my 2cents, of course, starting with:

Melinda D – I thought she looked elegant and beautiful, but what’s with the make up and hair??? Great voice as usual, was not feeling her song though.

La Kiki J – This conversation takes place every week in our house whenever she’s on:
Big Lan: Her boobs looks like watermelons, don’t you think?
Small Lan: Eeew! You’re so mean, now I can’t look at her without thinking watermelon.
Both waiting for me to take sides.
Me: Yea, just melons la, not as big watermelons la.
Both of them… yeah ok, melons.
Every week, seriously.
Anyways, Did not feel her song at all, never did actually, despite the great lung works. Did you see the excess bits trying to free themself from her outfit last night? Brrr…

Phil "I have huge freaky bug eyes" Stacey – yawn… forgettable.

Haley S – Can’t stand her voice, and definitely crossed the line yesterday with her shortest shorty-short shorts to date. I think it was pretty disrespectful. What was she thinking when she decided to follow the sex sells mantra, especially since the ladies always form the biggest voting group on any voting shows? Do you think female vote for you because your legs are 10 times hotter than theirs? D’oh.

Chris “I think I am J.T” Richardson – His nasally, whiny voice bothers me.

Blake L – I am impartial to this dude, but he did good yesterday. I like.

Jordin S – I heart this “little” girl, but the only thing I like about her performance last night was the very senorita like hair.

Sanjaya M – I’ve adored this little fella since his audition, and even his disappointing moments in the finals didn’t matter, cos he’s just… sweet, up until last week. You see we don’t like spoilt, cocky little brat which he was turning into and was so ready to see him leave. However, the boy sure did “redeemed” himself last night with a nice little performance, sans bratty attitude :D

Ok, I am done blabbering today. Will go home and catch the result show.
..ooh, yay, SHE’s finally out!