*~Exercise caution when reading: Woman in hissy fit down below... for make sense, my friends, it may not...

I just had an epiphany. Ok, it’s not like something that I’ve just found out, but today, is the day I'm finally done with it. Enough of taking/giving these kinds of chances, in the name of NOT being picky. After a bout of bad, bad luck with guys from my own ethnic group, I've decided that I am done with Chinese guys. I am sorry if there are any Chinese boys reading this beside my dear Pimpy friend. You guys can be real good friends of mine, and great boyfriends to loads of other chicks, but not mine.

Having a westernized lifestyle, speaking in accents (fake or otherwise), came back from spending some time abroad, supposedly open-minded about sex - which turns out, as I’ve discovered very recently, can be confused with just being another pervert/horndog or whatever you may call it – is NOT the same as having a westernized mentality. I am NOT in anyway glorifying the westernized mentality, merely stating what the soon to be ex BF said about his lifestyle etc. when i said that he is a chinese boy with a chinese mentality in my answer to his "What do you think of me?" question. And, that i do not comply well with my very own ethnic group's general mentality and expectations.

Also, asking me what I am wearing or am I good in bed, telling me how badly you want me and all equally disturbing texts, just a couple of days into our “relationship” via phone (yes we met online, been friends for a couple of months, he owns a record shop near my workplace but yes, no excuse - I am that dumb) – AND trying to convince me afterwards that you were just trying to “sweet talk” me with those stuff, and that you only talk like that to the person you “love”(??? Like Seriously?) will not, I assure you, get you anywhere near to what I am wearing. I really don't know which is worse - him really convinced that his dirty, looking for booty calls type of messages are "innocent sweet nothings", or that if he really is that big of a perv.

I know... I know, pervs are pervs ARE pervs regardless of ethnicity, but this is not about what a perv my very soon to be ex “bf” is, it is about how I will not, if I can help it, date another Chinese guy, ever.
I know... I know, never say never, but of all that I’ve met/dated, it saddens me a great deal that none has proven my perceptions otherwise.

I am going to have one hell of a tough night tonight, folks. I've come to a conclusion, after a lot of deliberation and rationalizing, which was actually made easy, thanks to a phone call from him this afternoon, I’ve decided to not prolong this anymore. Hate doing this. It’s like cutting a lifeline and having to bear with the what ifs afterwards, but I know that this is the right thing to do. What else is there if you don’t fit mentally? Or more accurately getting increasingly disgusted by the day.
I am so, not the happiest girl right now.

*~yak, yak... yak?

I've just bumped into a "ridiculously" chatty stranger on my way up from lunch. Ridiculous in a good way, I guess. I now know about his weight loss and weight gain history in the past year in less than a minute's elevator ride?! The type of confidence (and a fair amount of *into oneselfness*, I am sure) that these people have never ceases to amaze me. Really. If only I am half as convinced about myself as them, my head would probably be a much happier place, I think... ooh, by the way, he is kinda cute too... ah well...

*~Friday the 13th...

So, I’ve just turned three O, in Cambodia, near the enchanting Angkor temples, no less. That alone would’ve made it an extra “special” birthday, people may say, but the truth is, the day came and went hardly memorable. Don’t get me wrong. I am with some of my best friends in the world. They did go a little out of the way (to get me my delicious “zen” like mousse/cake with a candle on top for me to make my wishes), but these aren’t exactly the party planner type people who knows how to make your day, one to be remembered. I know, I sound like I am complaining… a whiny unappreciative b@#$ more like it. But I am not, really. I guess I was just expecting more out of that Friday the 13th that was my birthday, and not as uneventful as it was. Ah well...

Alright, moving on to the more eventful happenings just the week before that; planned and executed a bbq party at the parents’ – washed, chopped, marinated and baked the whole day, and at some point wondering why on earth did I put myself through that exhausting, financially depleting do, which of course paid off when people were well fed and seem to be having a good time later that night, and also when I opened one present with a huge ass backpack in it courtesy of jLo’s man.

Another eventful happening at work the day before the vacation, was when a chocolate cake appeared suddenly, out of no where, in my face with candles awaiting for my… blow (“?”) It was pretty special and very sweet of you guys, to say the least. Thank you, again.

So yep, that was how I “celebrated” the dreaded three O. Hurrah…?

~*more than meets the eyeeeeeeee......

I am mentally exhausted. Mentally exhausted from over thinking about the barbecue party this coming Saturday with the family and a few close friends sans Pimpy. Been thinking a lot about the menu, what I am planning to serve, what I'll be baking as party favors etc. I am tired.

I've also been thinking about jlo's wedding. They are the most indecisive and unexcited newly engaged couple you'll ever meet, making any plannings all the more difficult than supposed to be. It is frustrating when it seems that the bridesmaid are more excited to plan for a wedding than the bride herself. Not so fun. The latest "twang" to the wedding plan was to have it in a a huge mansion as opposed to the beach wedding ideas, due to logistics problem and all, and apparently we, the bridesmaids, will be doing the floral arrangements and in decorating the mansion for the wedding, since that's one of our spare time biz - regardless of whether we've done it before or not :p.
Of course we're thrilled, but knowing the couple, we'll just have to wait till a couple of months just before the wedding day.