~*aimless...

They say that a female's mood can be highly influenced by the moon, when it mengambang and all. They also say that people born under the Cancerian sign are moon child, thus a cancerian's mood is also usually highly influenced by the moon. I am a Cancerian AND a female. All I can say is... dang dang dang. Dang the mood swings... and all the hopelessness I am feeling right now. Dang.

~*greetings from my new cube...

Ok, to be fair, this place ain't all bad. The new cube is quiteeee alright. When I am inside the new bacon place and in my own little cube, it's fine. Only the journey and surroundings which still bothers most of us. You can't have everything can ya?

Sleepy...

~*Crushed...

Early morning, he came over. Said he got a question, and hope I'll say yes. Would I have breakfast with him and another colleague of his, he asked. I said yes, and we went. I was truly happy. He even told dolly his dread for moving to the new building include not being able to see me so often. That was yesterday.

He came over to my cube frequently the whole of today after the breakfast. We chatted. We flirted, sort of. He asked to add him in FB. I did. I totally forgotten that one of my previous status mentioned something about cute spotty boy. And to my horror, only realised that when there's a mail from him in my Inbox asking if i was refering the spotty boy to him??? I just replied with a smile. What can I say? Roomie says, on the bright side, that is one hell of a hint to encourage him to ask me out soon. That was this evening.

Just got in bed and got online after a night out with my girls. Logged on FB to learn more about him, and learnt something too hard to swallow. He is married. W.T.F.

Now in bed, in front of my notebook, tossing between disbelief and sadness. My mind is filled with whys, but the why is not why did he lead me on like this, he might genuinely like me. The heart is a cruel thing. The why here is more like why does this have to happen to me. I will not do this. It is too cruel a joke.

It took a long time for me to crush this hard for him, and it took just one second to crush the dreams in my head.

~*2.5 days and a counting...

Had a real interesting day yesterday. Bad bad incident in the morning, me screaming etc etc… but overall, interesting. I can’t share much about it since it involves quite a few people. They may not know what they say or did was interesting, but it so hella was! And at the end of the day, I can say that it was a pretty good day/week so far!

2.5 more days till we’re out of the towers. Besides missing the towers, and the spots, I realised there’s one more thing that I will surely be missing – people. Nice, funny people from other depts/teams. In our new bacon place, our floor is only shared among our own dept and one other support group.

You see, my current cube, which, I am shocked to admit is actually at a pretty good location. It’s right in front, so people from every other teams on the same floor, will stop for a chat, flirt, to share a joke etc etc whenever they pass by - a nice lady from other dept just passed by, said a lovely hello and some other niceties, while I am typing this!

I'll also really miss the recreation room here, the place where more friendships and camaraderies were formed with people that I’ll never cross paths with for work related stuff. Sigh. I am so going to miss that. Seriously. :’( My ex team will be far away, I am sitting way inside next to the window... same faces day in and day out. Bosannyer...

~*Bridget Jones diary...

I am a Bridget Jones. Clumsy as can be, all by myself, pining over someone, and huge knickers… hehe. Saw him taking in the view this morning, went over to join him, went too close to the window and guess what… bam! I hit the glass. It was loud. Malunyer… I can only hope that some people (or him) find Bridget Jones type clumsiness endearing (wishing real hard!-sampai dah squint squint matanya :p). I can’t help that I am so bloody clumsy and spacey la!

I said previously that spotty not having the mutual feeling may not be a bad thing, well, I’ve changed my mind. My fingers are all crossed that he does. Apparently I am not as strong willed as I would like to be. I want him and I do not see a ring on his finger, but making the first move is out of the question. Regardless of what people say, girls making first moves seldom end in happily ever after, and I am too … erm, not young for just fun and games. If I am to be with someone now, it has to at least be something substantial la… I deserve that much. So spotty dearest, please, feel that way too… can? Cos if you don’t, then I’ll start being depressed next week, dang…

Oh yes, the mind change also has something to do with what the parents said… apparently they’ve given up hope on me ever having someone! Ah well… nothing wrong with ending up alone, right? What can ya do...

Note to self: Bring crystal for cleansing!

Streamys sux!

~*lovely monday...

Lovely Monday after another duh conversation... women. aih... :D

~*I’ve got a crush on you…

Yups, I’ve got a major crush on you… you cute, spotty lil boy, man… dude. I can’t let you know about it though, because a) you work for the baconshop, and b) I wouldn’t know what to do if the crush is mutual. But, oh sweet, spotty boy… how the world around me seems to slow down (really one! I swear! :p) whenever we pass each other, whenever our eyes and smiles meet… how my heart skips a tiny little beat whenever you come by my place just to make duh conversations… I was on cloud 9 all night after our little chat yesterday, eventhough I had to shoo you away to finish up my work. My cute, sweet spotty boy, one more week and that’s it. You’ll be on another floor in our new bacon place, and I’ll not get to see your cute spotty smile coming to the baconshop every morning :( sob… tsk… sob…

If my instincts are to be trusted, I have a feeling that this crush might be a tiny bit of a mutual thingy, and That could be a potentially scary thing. But If my instincts are screwed up, then that would have saved me from a lot of big decisions, or the potential heartaches, I guess. Not exactly a bad thing either. So I'll be content, with just this crush for you.

Regardless, I have one more week… to take in all your cuteness (??? wtf…haha), your handsome face (hahaha, so kuno, but really, if you look closely, he is handsome leh… but have to look real closely lah :p and if I have not mentioned it enough, his spotties are super cute! Hahaha… but, not like I am going to tell anyone who I am talking about though :p), your boyish smile, the way you talk… ok la, basically everything that I know about you outwardly. Too bad there isn’t more time left for me to know the inner you better…

Hmmm… time to hit the pillows… sweet dreams my sweets… sigh...

~*Straps...

Yes, my ahem... top inner wear straps likes playing peek-a-boo, and I am sure it is a fashion faux pas etc etc, but so what? tsk tsk... men.

Btw, thank you for keep observing and liking the "lace" huh, future Puan Princess Dande... :p

~*hola... another freaky Friday...

Wow… been a while since I last updated this. I blame it on the bacon of course. And my hair no longer looks like the pic below… tsk tsk… but that’s ok, I am fine with the side swept bangs now anyways. But unfortunately, the bangs only look nice a day or two after washing. So if u think my hair look “gorgeous” that day, chances are… it ain’t as clean as it looks haha…

This is long over due but, we went to Small Perhentian island (hehe… island, not pulau :p) a couple of months back. Had an awesome time overall. I think that, for now this is my all time favorite beach to swim in – crystal clear water up to few hundred meters from the beach, no pebbles, no corals or sharp hidden object out to get you on the seabed, and even if there were (but there were none) u can see it first and be aware since the water is so damn clear! It’s alike a giant swimming pool! Okok… a bit too hard sell on the water… but yea, loved the sea there. *Unrelated note - Roomie just bought our train tickets for our land of Siam vacation in December! Hoorah!

Lots of things happened the since the vacay. Mostly job related. The politicking at work is an eye opener, and it’s especially difficult when then politicking parties are all your buddies. Whose side are you going to be on? How do you maintain being neutral when one party brings up something that shocks you, something that really makes you go “omg, he did not just say that!”? It’s tough.

We’ll be moving in to a new bacon place in 13 days. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’ve been working in the these towers, and the tinier tower on the side for the past 7 years (?) and it’s hella difficult to leave. On the other hand, I am thrilled to not have the clients from all over the towers come straight to my face to follow up on their requests, IDs, their coffee maker not working (kidding :P) etc etc. – we’ll be far far away (well at least 10 mins walk away) from all you suckers! But that 10 mins extra walk is a huge bummer to all of us. Seriously. My new cube would be at one corner of the world far far away from the bacon chief of the dept. but I don’t get a partition. Sigh… you really can’t have everything huh. Plus Plus… this is the worst part of it all, it’s already freaking November and we still have no news about our bacon adjustment. We were told it would be in October, but funnily, not sure due to amnesia or any memory eating germs infecting the bacon chief, she actually do not recall telling us that our bacon revision will be in October. So, sad to say, the possibility of a bacon revision looks quite bleak at the mo.

One big news of the week, the Big Bacon Shop (BBS) will be acquiring our tiny bacon shop soon. Not announced or made official yet, but apparently the ground works ie. Business model etc etc is already in the works. BBS is famous for their humongous staff bonus bacon, but unfortunately, our perks will not be the same. The only consolation is that we can finally say that, yes we’re BBS’ staff. Big freaking deal right? :p Sigh… Ok la… tired and back aching. Can’t wait to go home and hit our little bottle of red at home. Later…