~*tis the season of evil pollen...

I hate pollens. I can't see them, can't touch them, can't taste them (you get the idea...) but how I hated them! Nothing personal, except that whenever spring is near, and pollens abundant, you can see me slowly looking like a junkie without my fix, while sneezing my head, lungs, you name it... off. And these episodes of allergy "attacks" drains the hell out of me, I tell ya. Today's one of 'em bad bad days, and i had to go to the doctor's.

What did the doctor say?
Doc: Ah ... it's the weather, the pollen, you just can't escape them, too bad.
Me: WTF - too bad?? (in my head, of cos) Er.. so doc, is there any long term medication since spring is like, here for the next couple of months.
Doc: Er.. no. It's just too bad. I give you Flu medicine, and ahh... vitamin C. Yes... you take vitamin C.
Me: WTF??? Really, vitamin C?
Doc: Ya ya... Vitamin C. Make you stronger. Ok, next.
Me: Huh? WTF?? - walk out rubbing my itchy nose and itchy eyes.... wtf?????

I finally caught the L-word. Never read anything about it before except that it's about lesbians.
So, ok, we put on the dvd, filled with anticipation, this could be another Sex and the City type comedy series. But LO! It ain't that funny. Yea, there were funny one liners, funny scenes and all but overall it was heavy heavy... heavy drama stuff. To the point of being disturbing, even.

Ok, it is not a bad watch, it just makes your mind work overtime, over it. Firstly, theirs lives, not very gay-ish (as in merry gay...get? :p), at certain points, some of the character's lives were pretty depressing. And why? Because they're all women. Women who are so damn complicated. It's hard enough having the complications or complexity of one woman in hetero relationships, in lesbian couples, there are 2sets of complex complicity running simultaneously! Way more drama's bound to happen, right? And in the show, DRAMA there certainly was. Certain scenes did make me wanna smack those characters, hard. Seriously, too much unnecessary drama.
Well, of course to be fair it is after all a Tv series, how much truth can there be in it. But haven't you heard that the stuff of tv does, after all come from the stuff of real life, albeit exaggerated?

Before I go on... nope, I am not pro-hetero or pro anything, I am just relating it to myself.... as another relationship option, perhaps?? ... nah, unfortunately not. I've always imagined (not graphically, you perves!!) how simple life would be if we can just change our orientation and like our own gender (or any genders) just like that, since in my case the opposite gender folks that I've come across (romantically) has all been that disappointing so far. But this particular series seriously put that thought away for sure, since the heartaches, the scums, the players and the betrayals are almost similar to what you get being with folks with that different set of anatomy.
Of course, as in everything else, never say never as well, I guess :p

Ooh, I forgot to mention, there's this really cool, punk-ish character with my name. I have a boy's name, and not that many people around here uses that name (it's always Mike or Jon, or Chuck :p), so to hear it mentioned that many times on tv is both weird And cool at the same time...(hehe... we already did radio eh, pimpy... momma...)
hehe... yea, I TRY to be that into myself once in a while... just trying :p

~*the tragic day they took it away...

It has finally happened. The Space has been blocked. I am still trying to comprehend it. Still can't face the reality of it. Omigod... cannn't breatheee...... sob.

Life will never be the same at the bacon shop again. I am having withdrawals right now. And someone's dating someone else right now. Distance sure is one big MofreakingFo! Arrrr....
Can't talk. Later... sob.....

~*Virtual reality....

Breathe breathe... breathheee... arrr, fck it. The perils of being the female kind. (if you didn't get that... I ain't gonna explain it y'll...)

So, something happened... or didn't happen yesterday, that got me thinking about the sense of reality. What's real, and what might have seemed real. Started off with our IM... I mean info sharing :p session with my teammates, and we were discussing about some pretty heated topic, after which we got up to head out for lunch. And as I begin walking away from the cube. I stopped. I was confused and the mind was blank for a second. I asked my colleagues, did we just typed out our conversation or did I actually said those things out loud. Apparently I typed. It freaked me out to think that my reality could be blurred like that, even for a little while. Has anyone had episodes like that before? Or my nut case level just went up a notch?

Gawd...

Anyways, on a lighter note, first ever high school reunion’s coming up next week. Wasn't planning on going. Haven't been keeping in touch with the ex schoolmates, just a couple whose weddings I went to, and a few others I bumped into, at those weddings. Hasn't always been in the "in" crowd at school. Plus, I've changed quite a bit since school days and doesn't really share the same wavelength with... almost all whom I've hung out with. Thus, didn't really see the point of going (I never said I wasn’t a biartch :p) even after receiving a few text invites, until one of them called last night and made me a deal.

You see, there's a rumor going around (among that circle of friends, that is) right now that "someone", an old classmate, has been "admiring" me since way back and really wanting to meet me for ages. And, this friend who called last night promised to tell me who the person is, IF I promise to attend. What can I do? It IS, after all, a rumor about me. So, I promised, and she told me. And now I'll have to attend the said event and pretend that I don't know what I know, because I am not supposed to know, since the person who leaked it to her told her not to tell anyone, since He was told by... ahem..."my admirer" to not tell anyone. Get? :p

Gawd... Moral of the story here is, to NOT trust your high school mates with secrets like that. We were kids when we knew each other, what makes anyone think that things like that changes after ... 10 years? :p

~*Saturday nite feva...

... literally, that is. Oh... my achy breaky body. I am literally aching from top to toe, and my voice is coarse coarse coarse. Why? Old age! The perils of getting older. Seriously. Gone are the days of all night bootie shaking, "hard" partying and still wake up the next day ready for more. Nowadays, after a night’s out, the next day will be spent cussing, swearing off partying and quitting the booze and to some, fags - until the next weekend, that is :p That was what happened this morning... about 2am this morning, to be exact, while dragging our sorry arses home from the local joint... (joint??)

I had less than 2 beers, and shook the bootie only for a while, thanks to the tube I was wearing, which has a life of its own and tried to "break free" (???... u know what I mean...) the entire night, did a bit of a head banging when the band was doing some ol' skool e.m.f and greenday, and... that was it. I had my arse plonked down, comfortably about 80% of the time. So why do I feel all broken today??? Age... old age. And I am not even 30, yet... technically. Dang. Sigh... moving on...

Read Pimpy's blog today. He mentioned something about us few, from the box being unusually closer than any acquaintance, after our journey crossed path last year... got me thinking about our time in the box again. I do miss it tremendously. I do wish with all the cells in my being to relive those moments - I say moments, because there's just so much going on in a day, that just summing it up as days would not do it justice. The only thing I would probably do differently if there is a chance to rewind back to that time, is to BULLSHIT more eloquently to win the dough, and bring you guys for a vacation... sigh. But yups, Pimpy, somehow I do feel that we may be unusually closer than any acquaintance. I guess, people do really bond when going through tough times and challenges together. I am sure I am not wrong to say that we all feel that we've shared something special, or at least a different and unique once in a lifetime experience (eventhough it may not mean anything to anyone else), that we'll not soon forget.
And of course it's also the fact that effort was actually put in to stay in touch... right?
Ahh... I miss miss miss those days!!! I miss you guys! :'( and I miss Cubie. I really do, but I'll be damned if I contact him anywhere in the near future. Cursed.

Really frustrated with things at "bacon shop" lately. Started off in this place with promises of great things, great dynamic growth to take place in this "great, high potential player in the industry... bla bla blah...". Seriously, now it's all reduced to Blah. But I am not prepared to leave right away... yet. I am not in the best state of mind right now. Need to sort the knots in the mind. Need to learn to be positive - can't bring myself to say optimistic, though :p. Need to read all my "dummies" books I’ve bought only to hope to absorb them knowledge by osmosis (term courtesy of Dr. Izzie). Just need to pretty much sort my life out. Then move on, and out of there I'll be!

A random thought... is long hair for guys making a come back? Noticed quite a few commercials with them long haired male models in them. No, no...me not complaining...seriously. Gosh, i love Grey's Anatomy... like, Seriously! ...er... as always, only funny if you know what I mean, or at least as into the show as I am :p

10:48pm - I'll be hitting the bed and heal me achy bones... g'night dears.

~*Oh fools...

The establishment, or the lack of it actually, may be the most clueless, most idiotic and a most unfortunate one to be in. Nuff said.

~* yawn...

Got up a bit earlier this morning, wanted to avoid the worsening traffic and for the first time in a loooong while, I am in the workplace by 7:30am. It's not a prerequisite since we start at 8:00am, but... it's just... it's been a while. Must admit it was tough driving this morning, since sleep has been elusive last nite. Nope, no extra curricular activities whatsoever, just that the brain didn't think it was bedtime even though the rest of the body was aching to get to the comatose state. Suffer, suffer.

10:10am, Thursday morning. One more day to the weekends. Thrilled. Tired. Need sleep. Coffee not helping. Can't think. Laters...

~*a lil cheer for the day...
Overheard ni NYC - http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Toddler quivering with fright: Oh, no, Mommy. Oh, no. Oh, dear... Oh, dear... Oh, dear. The train's coming, Mommy. It's coming. Oh, dear. Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no! Mommy! It's coming, Mommy! Oh, no, Mommy! Mommy! It's coming. It's coming! It's coming, it's coming! Ahhh!

--6 train station, 77th St

~*IM a happy?

I heart ym and I hate ym. I use ym to communicate with my roomies, and a couple of other friends on some other parts of the world. I heart that a lot. But it can be such a distraction sometimes, annoying even especially when you're at work, since it's real time and you're supposed to answer an IM... like instantly. It's worse if the people you're IM-ing doesn't get that you're actually working, besides, "stealing" some time off to ... chat?? (can't think of any other replacement!), and starts drawing conclusions that you're not interested in being their friends no more and all that :( Sic. I could apologize and try to explain that I am busy, thus can't IM much, but I am damn pantang when it comes to having to explain myself for being busy working? Sigh. I really much prefer emailing. Ah well... again, as always...

Went to bed early last nite, about 10pm. Was really tired after the sauna session at Jlo's. It was nice. Sweat ed like pig, but a pretty good stress reliever, me must say. The mind just kinda went blank after that. Woke up this morning, feeling kinda fresh. Had my morning ginger tea. Blasted the stereo a bit, and the world was looking a little more... beautiful today. And as i walk towards the office, saw some couple kissing goodbye sweetly in the car, and then an ol stranger greeted me good morning, tourists walking around with smiley faces, the sweet smell of the tower lobby... lovely. Nevermind that we didn't get our backstage passes to iL Divo's tonight - under the pretext that we're the venue's IT support, it's still a pretty lovely day so far. Keeping my fingers crossed that the feeling will last, at least till bedtime tonight.

~*It's not over....

Carburetor chock - didn't even know how to spell it correctly, but that's the thing that failed in my beat up little car this morning. My little car is still in the workshop. Them mechanics just called to say the car's done now. Problem resolved. Will pick it up after work. Which means having to take the train home this evening. Was lucky Little Lan gave me a lift to work since she wanted to hang out at the mall today. Sigh. Been a long time since I took a ride on the train. Fingers crossed I don't get that sick on it. I get sick taking trains you see. Cursed.

So anyways, didn't get to write much last week because it has been a mad house at work. Seriously swamped, but ended the week quite nicely with a lunch "date" with a friend from The Space. It was nice. Food was yummy, eventhough I had to stick to the relatively guilt free ones. The company was a nice, down to earth, friendly guy. Just something I make myself do this year. Go on "dates", meet new people, hang out with more people besides my bffs. It's really not that easy I have to say, especially when you're in such a comfort zone, it's tough changing. I am not going from 0 to 100 right away though, just baby steps...u know...

Got some flight tix to Siem Reap this July, from the promo thingy. Spent literally few hours online just trying to get some tix... any tix when the promo was first launch, and ended up getting for a date coinciding with me birthday. So, yey! Was initially planning a do to celebrate my big three O... now, i'll just have to wait till then and see what happens.

Ooh oh... fyi, I've been going for evening walk/jogs everyday for the past week. I've become a big fan of this thing called "exercise" now, to the point that i'll go for a jog just because I am bored, or when there's nothing better to do... freaky.

oOH ooh... my other new fave song "It's not over" by Chris Daughtry... which reminds me ze Americano Idol is airing again this week!!! Yipppeess!

~*rock steady yo...

My new year officially began this weekend. With all ...unfortunate series of events, comes good things, well, if I am being true to my pessimistic self, comes better things. Cubie's still not talking to me, but he forgave me, kinda, but I'm perfectly alright with that, and as always, moving on...

Last weekend has been a pretty hectic one. Not unusual, but apparently I've been booked for some dates this week. Since I haven't been on "dates" for a while, thought might as well, go out and hang out with some other people besides my bffs at home - yes Pimpy, i have SOME bffs, and you guys are in the circle, happy? :p Besides, one of them is a friend of a friend whom we went with for that short weekend away last month, so how to say no ler?

Ok, a lil recap on the events last weekend - Friday, in the midst of my depressed state, I found Jlo, roommie and I jigging the nite away at the local dodgy joint. Not as packed as usual, so it was alright. Saturday, woke up late, of course, late lunch, hang out at home for a bit then out for a lovely dinner of sashimis with the folks. Yumms! Later drinks and more jigging with Jlo and her irish homies. Quite boring for me - trying to get make out the Irish accent amidst loud Loud music is not that fun. Sunday, woke up late, again, of course, late lunch, and went for a long, exhausting.. i mean invigorating walk at some not so nearby hill, and dinner was at Jlo's place cos she and her leprechaun had their Irish homies over for her "famous" curry chicken. Irish accents aren't my forte for sure. So the night was pretty much spent eating curry chicken, some sprouts and yea, chocolates, while trying to understand the Irish homies' conversation. Sad but, me and accent don't mix so well.

Oh yea, the Lans and I made a "covenant" to lose at least 5kg this year. This was inspired by the hill walk and reaffirmed after watching (surprise surprise) "The Covenant" last night, which left us practically drooling over the ... erm... good acting (???) skills of the very very hot actorS in it. It was like a buffet!!! :D Seriously girlfriends, or boyfriends who like boys, go watch it cos even if you think that's the lamest thing you've ever seen, it will still put a smile (i can't guaranteed it's NOT a lusty one though :p) on your face afterwards... or more :p yummsss.......... did someone switch off the a/c???

Anyways, yups, my new year has just begun. According to the chinese calender thingy, this year will be a year full of bad lucks, unfortunate series of events and what not for me, but... ah well, learning to take things with pinches of salt. So... cheers... happy nu yer's, yo'll!

Oh oh... my newest fave song is All Saint's Rock steady... hella hella cool! ... just sharing...

~*new year, new beginning...

The last couple of days has been rough for me. Hadn't eaten in 2 days now. But beginning to feel better, and ... probably appetite might come back soon. Did something stupid the other day. Cubie and I are no longer friends. Sounds damn juvenile, but yea. It was an action and reaction kind of thing. There was too much mix signals, and I had to find out where things stand, and I fcked it up.

No amount of apologies can reverse that apparently, eventhough it's really no big deal. But nope, Cubie's male. 26 year old male. I've long discovered that 26 year old males are mostly bad news, from experience. I thought this was going to be different. It started different. But it did end a bit different, cos this time I fcked up. I am not going to lie. I am pretty crushed.

But ah well... getting over it now. Besides, did the person really care at all, cos even if a friend fcked up, and you know how sorry she is, and how she's suffering for it afterwards, you would at the very least take away abit of the pain, rather than cut the person from your life totally.

What a way to start the new year huh... sigh. Tough but I'll forget about that. People fcked up all the time. I am one of them people. Moving on...

~*So it's 2007... so?

I’ve always got things to write about New Year. Always. This year will be an exception. Initially thought of writing about my nu yer’s in the lion city, but nah… so it is a nice city, much better than our humble lil town – in comparison, has much better shopping places, lots more cute guys per square feet, but nah…

For lack of better things that interest me enough to write about at this moment, I think I’ll just give this a rest for now. Oh, before I forget though…to pimp boy, your English is too chim chim you know? Me really didn’t get the middle part about elfs and elles and what not. Enlighten me ya, but don’t worry about the rest of it, I GOT those, and you’re not the only one poking fun at that, the Lans are onto it already :p
Anyways... what's up momma?